The Drams in San Luis Obispo Part I

The Drams - San Luis Obispo - 1/26/07

*Cough* *sniffle* *ack*.... Thursday evening I practiced my 'I'm not feeling too well' for the next morning's voice message my boss would be receiving. (My two degrees aren't in acting for nothin').

The car was rented (Impala, baby) the Canon SLR battery charged, fresh panties packed in a little ol' overnight bag... It was 230 miles to San Luis Obispo, we had a full tank of gas, Richard Pryor CD, it was over-cast, and we were wearing sunglasses.

We were going to see The Drams and we were happy.

We (my buddy Rich and I) pulled into San Luis around 3:30 p.m. on Friday. I have visited this fair burg a couple of times before but I'd never really seen the downtown area. Beautiful. I was immediately struck by how much it resembled a quaint southern town. One of the most striking elements of this feeling were the girls. GOD..... DAMN! I'm mean, shit. I've been to a lot of SEC school campuses so I'm usually not taken a back by a large collective of hot women, but, GOD.... DAMN. San Lui, I tip my hat to you. Brava.

You've got to love a place in California that ain't afraid to advertise the Q.

We parked our car almost directly in front of the venue. Another reason to love San Luis.

We didn't see the van so we took a little stroll and tried to find some ugly girls. Couldn't, so we headed back to ol' Brewing Company and low and behold the 'Van from Texas' was pulling into a spot.

Keith, Brent and Jess hopped out while Tony and Chad were still catching some zzzs in the back of the van (much needed, I'm sure), occassionally awaking to fight over who got to snuggle with the Pooh Bear.

The fellas were a bit surprised to see us. Didn't expect to see us until San Francisco. It was damn good seeing them, though.

To cleanse the boys of a couple of hours on the road and the Lutheran college the night before we strolled to a bar down the block called "The Library" or, to you Texans "The Lie-berry", as in 'Heir Bush wants to build his pResidential 'lie-berry' all up in SMU'.

Immediately, the conversation heats up. We get the 'how's the tour' 'how are the crowds' 'how's your momma and n'em' out of the way so we can get to the crux of the important topics:

Stock picks for the year: Plastics and ponies. If you've got 10 grand... put it all in shetland ponies. They're this years Llama. Just remember to poke air holes in the trailer.

The Drams next album cover will be old school air brushed ponies like you would see on a t-shirt... maybe something like this.... I prefer something more like this.... framed by a 10K dollar symbol.... There's a 10K bill, right?

We moved on to discussing the "The Man who killed love" until "The Man who killed Jess's buzz" inserted himself to the conversation. He wanted to talk Poison and Crue. I farted in his general direction and eventually TMWKJ'sBzzzzz left the back porch of 'The Lie-berry'.

One of THE funniest story told was about Soul Asylym's lead singer, David Pirner. Tony doesn't kick dogs but he likes to THINK of kicking dogs. Dog kicking makes David Pirner very sad and angry. But, Tony, the master at manipulating the mood of a room 'upped the ante'.....

You want more, dontcha. Well, you ain't getting any more. Nobody said that this post was going to be fair or that stories would be fully told. I'm a greedy bastard and I'm not above making this entire post an inside joke.

I mean, somebody's innocence must be protected. I'm not sure whose really innocent here, but....

We get plenty tipsy pre-show. The Drams hit the stage, initially playing to Rich and I while we stumbled around trying to film but having a mighty blast the entire time. Eventually a crowd of twenty forms to enjoy the tunes.

The boys begin the set with Gimmee Back My Dog then launch into a rauchous set of Drams tunes. No way in hell I can even pretend to put up a set list.

There is a disk that exist called, "Cooleyisms". Bascially, it contains snippet highlights of the wisdom Cooley has imparted from the stage over the years. It is poop-yourself funny and I've only heard about half of it. Brent and I were discussing it pre-show. One Cooleyism mentioned occured during a show in North Carolina. I paraphrase, but it goes a little something like this, Cooley steps up to the mike and says, "Well y'all finally did it, didn't you. Can't smoke in a bar in North Carolina. Not being able to smoke in a bar in North Carolina is kinda like taking public transportation if you lived in Detroit". The crowds reaction..... *creeek* *creeek* (chirping of crickets)... then another beat of silence... the Cooley says "Git it".

Brent repeats this "joke" on stage to gaffawing laughter from me and Rich. The rest of the audience didn't 'Git it'. Ever the consumate performer, Brent knew who his audience was.

Last song of the evening was a cover of "Straight to Hell" by Drivin' n Cryin'. Twas dedicated to their good friend from Alabama. I figured that there was a good shot that was me being one of 20 people standing in front of the band. Even if it wasn't for me... from hence forth, it was for me.

They completely rocked it. Here's a version of it from a show they did in Europe.

After the set we helped the boys break down then off to 'The Lie-berry" we went.

Back to the conversations that would save the world....

From highmindedness to lowbrowedness.

From the metal band Mastadon's album based on Moby Dick, to iambic pentameter as it relates to the line in Wondrous Life "The Bartender is Tending to Bar me from Drink", to a one dollar bet by me to Brent and Rich on who would pull a piece of pre-chewed gum off of Bubble Gum Alley Wall and chew it. (the link takes you to the exact place of the bet) Both men did put a piece in their mouth.... Rich was the only one who chewed... he did mention that it was still minty.... debate became whether the dollar was split .50 cent/.50 cent or .25/.75 due to Rich actually chewing it.... I still have the dollar... suckers both. :)

More on Bubble Gum Alley in San Luis

Other vague rememberances.....

After Hoge finished playing the Brewing Company filled with college chilrens all a twitter because a DJ was going to spin records so that they could all dance! Who could ever imagine such a concept.

We somehow find a table upstairs and consume many a shot.

I remember hanging over a railing and motioning for hot college chicks to come and join us. In a matter of minutes I reverted back to my childhood, had a midlife crisis, then came to peace that I was 36 years old and that "I didn't need the attention of some snotty nosed whipper snapper" *snif* *snif* "You can all go to HELL"! " Hey who wants another shot"?!

Later by the van as we were helping them pack up Rich comes out of the bar saying that he had a glass or water thrown in his face. Details are sketchy. It may have had something to do with a variation on 'stopping short'.

Stopping Short - the act of slamming hard on an automobile's brake pedal, and at the same time reaching over and putting one's arm in front of the front seat passenger as a means of protecting them from hitting the dash board (and gaining sexual gratification from the experience)

The boys are packed up and heading to their friend's house. We say our goodbyes and that we'd see each other the next day. Rich and I are walking to our car to get our bags when Brent calls me over to the van. I poke my head in the drivers window and some girl is sitting in the van talking on her cell phone. All of the Drams are looking at each other wondering 'who the hell is this'? Brent ask if she's mine and I say no. Apparently this chick thinks the van is one of those drunk shuttles and she's expecting to be taken home. I tell her that van is across the street. She gets out and follows Rich and I all the while yammering away on her phone. We leave her safely on the sidewalk awaiting a cab. Godspeed, little doodle. Hope you made it home.

Rich and I crashed out at the BnB

Next day perspective: Rich puts his coat on at 7 a.m. Saturday morning, sticks hands into pockets... pulls out a 2/3 empty bottle of Bud.

Hell, we had to get home so we could do this all over again.

Sweet!

To Be Continued.......