Suspicious Bagel

Again, thank jeebus for Matt Tiabbi. Our national discourse is flooded with these faux-Democratic 'moderate' pseudo-long-view, clueless-what-pragmatic-actually-means, status quo fluffers.

As long as they got there's, they'll spew any stupid shit imaginable in order to hold onto that shit.

Matt Bai's Post-Partisanship | Rolling Stone Politics | Taibblog | Matt Taibbi on Politics and the Economy:

"Bai is one of those guys -- there are hundreds of them in this business -- who poses as a wonky, Democrat-leaning 'centrist' pundit and then makes a career out of drubbing 'unrealistic' liberals and progressives with cartoonish Jane Fonda and Hugo Chavez caricatures. This career path is so well-worn in our business, it's like a Great Silk Road of pseudoleft punditry. First step: graduate Harvard or Columbia, buy some clothes at Urban Outfitters, shore up your socially liberal cred by marching in a gay rights rally or something, then get a job at some place like the American Prospect. Then once you're in, spend a few years writing wonky editorials gently chiding Jane Fonda liberals for failing to grasp the obvious wisdom of the WTC or whatever Bob Rubin/Pete Peterson Foundation deficit-reduction horseshit the Democratic Party chiefs happen to be pimping at the time. Once you've got that down, you just sit tight and wait for the New York Times or the Washington Post to call. It won't be long."

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If your fellow passengers are a bunch of terrified teabaggers, you might be an American.

Florida Professor Arrested for Having a "Suspicious" Bagel on a Plane | NBC Miami:

"A Florida professor was arrested and removed from a plane Monday after his fellow passengers alerted crew members they thought he had a suspicious package in the overhead compartment.

That 'suspicious package' turned out to be keys, a bagel with cream cheese and a hat.

Ognjen Milatovic, 35, was flying from Boston to Washington D.C. on US Airways when he was escorted off the plane for disorderly conduct following the incident.

Monday's incident is another example of other passengers essentially becoming the authority on terrorist activity on planes."

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Nothing to see here folks, but we should pre-emptively give bailouts to all chemical factories within a 1000 mile radius.

Dead Birds Fall From Sky AGAIN In Louisiana, 300 Miles From Arkansas Incident Days Earlier

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Since we have been discussing dicks today.....

Indiana Snow Penises Given Generous Local News Coverage (VIDEO)

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Hersey Kiss it Tain't

AAW Fund Raiser.

Read about it here.

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In 'Merica you just don't go around daring people to steal your shit. We may have fallen on some hard times of late, but the land of the free and the home of the Braves (Go Chipper!) still remains chock full of thieving savants who salivate at the thought of some bone-headed CEO daring them to steal his identity by making public his SS#.

Score: LifeLock CEO - 0. 'Merica - 500

ID-protection ads come back to bite pitchman:

"SAN JOSE, Calif. - Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.

Now, Lifelock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn't work as promised and he knew it wouldn't, because the service had failed even him."

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All the rest of y'all better hurry up and get on teh gays marriage band wagon. (Actually, it's more like a parade float than a band wagon, but whatever....).

California stands to make a killing with gay tourism. How, do you ask, do teh gays have so much cash on hand? 'Cause the don't reproduce. No kids = lot's more expendable cash.

20 years from now gay marriage will not even be an issues. Good. Equal rights for ALL.

Even the Terminator is on board. Funny how he's turn into a Democrat but ran as a Republican. Yeah, funny that.

Politics - Schwarzenegger says gay marriage could be good for economy - sacbee.com:

"Will gay marriage help boost California's economy? Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger hopes so."

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I'd really like to travel to the moon before I die. They need to speed this the hell up.

Science fiction into science fact.

Howstuffworks "How Antimatter Spacecraft Will Work":

"'Engineering, stand by for warp drive.' With that command, the 'Star Trek' crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise prepared to hurl the spaceship through the cosmos at superluminal speeds. Warp drive is another one of those science fiction technologies, like teleportation and time travel, that have some scientific basis. It just hasn't been achieved yet. However, scientists are working on developing an interstellar spacecraft engine that is similar to the matter-antimatter engine of the Enterprise."

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I shit you not..... chocolate buttholes. Guess what everybody is getting for Xmas.

The Incredible Edible Anus

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Alabama Gypsy Rose

I'm SO close to having the Athens GA post done. Close... but no cigar... yet.

One of my favorite people in the world joins the blogosphere. Huzzah!

Pointy Pointy

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This comes in just a tad cooler than Cooley's new baby's name:

De Matteo a New Mom:

"Former 'The Sopranos' star Drea De Matteo is celebrating after becoming a mom. The actress and longtime partner Shooter Jennings welcomed baby Alabama Gypsy Rose into the world on Wednesday."

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My hero.

Thief makes off with 180 Guinness kegs:

"DUBLIN (Reuters) - A thief made off with 180 kegs of Guinness beer after smoothly driving into the Dublin brewery which makes the black stout and snatching a trailer load of drink, police said on Thursday."

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If Guinness owned one of these there wouldn't of been a problem.

The Beer Pager: Never Lose Your Beer Again

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How could marketing candy like it was crack ever be a problem? Crazy world.

Jill Porter | Mint or drug: Is Hershey's cracked?

"FAMILY COURT Judge Lori Dumas Brooks wanted to make sure she wasn't overreacting. So she held the small blue packet of powdered substance in her palm and showed it around at work yesterday."

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After all of the beer and minty crack you just might need to find one of these in your stocking.

U.S. Patent 6313371: Underwear Deodorizer:

"Just in time for Thanksgiving leftovers comes U.S. Patent 6313371. It describes the Flatulence Deodorizer, which is a 'non-intrusive' pad you tape 'inside briefs or panties in the anal area'. It's basically a little activated carbon patch that neutralizes odors"

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Effing WEEEEEEEEEE!!!! 100 miles an hour on a zip line! So fast you have to have a fin between your feet.

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Running Nekkid Down Sesame Street

A little too little, a little too late, piggie.

Former WH Press Sec.: Bush, Rove helped pass along 'false information' on Plame:

"President Bush, Karl Rove, and other top administration officials were 'involved' in misleading the White House press corps about the outing of ex-CIA agent Valerie Plame, a forthcoming book from former Press Secretary Scott McClellan alleges."

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The old Looney Toons were far worse. Jeez what a generation of pussies we are raising.

Sesame Street - New York Times:

"The old “Sesame Street” is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper “Elmo’s World” started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place — well, the original “Sesame Street” might hurt your feelings."

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Huzzah!

Bookmark improvements new to Firefox 3:

"NEW YORK - A new version of the Firefox browser, now available for testing mainly by developers, offers improvements on finding frequently visited Web sites and tools for running Web applications without a live Internet connection."

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Just had to get his nekkid on.

Nude man accused of causing I-95 crashes:

"BRANDYWINE HUNDRED, Del. - Delaware State Police have arrested a Chester, Pennsylvania, man who they said was running naked and drunk on Interstate-95 and caused three accidents."

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Ruffy Toys

How effing stupidly low will the media go with another Clinton in the presidential picture?

This low.

The silly season is upon us. Expect all types of bizarre BS accusations from the from "News" media.

Fox News airs bizarre claim that Hillary ordered hit on cats:

"Fox News on Wednesday aired a bizarre accusation that Sen. Hillary Clinton is connected with the murder of two cats."

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More and better Democrats elected. We also took the Kentucky governorship.

Democrats Seize Control of Virginia Senate

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'I'll be back' most used film line: survey:

"Top 10 must used film lines:"

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Regulations? Aussie's don't need to stinkin' regulations.

Australia pulls 'date rape' drug toy:

"SYDNEY, Australia - Australian officials ordered a popular Chinese-made children's toy pulled from the shelves after scientists found it contained a chemical that converts into a powerful 'date rape' drug when ingested."

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Noodling. You've got to be a little crazy to do this:

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Rocky NOT

A true Alabama Ass Whuppin'

Roll Freakin' Tide! A long time coming.

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Here's the problem. Republican's whose purpose is to abolish any and all government services. Both Republicans and Democrats who are too terrified to offer up a visionary plan for conservation and water maintenance because, inevitably, they may need to ask the populace to sacrifice in the short term for long term gain by, gasp, paying a few extra tax dollars. Politicians who are too damn worried about getting reelected than they are about doing what's right and being a leader.

This is ludicrous. Put a bandaid on it and leave it to the next generation to deal with.

News from The Associated Press:

ATLANTA (AP) -- With the South in the grip of an epic drought and its largest city holding less than a 90-day supply of water, officials are scrambling to deal with the worst-case scenario: What if Atlanta's faucets really do go dry?

So far, no real backup plan exists. And there are no quick fixes among suggested solutions, which include piping water in from rivers in neighboring states, building more regional reservoirs, setting up a statewide recycling system or even desalinating water from the Atlantic Ocean.

"It's amazing that things have come to this," said Ray Wiedman, owner of an Atlanta landscaper business. "Everybody knew the growth was coming. We haven't had a plan for all the people coming here?"

Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue seems to be pinning his hopes on a two-pronged approach: urging water conservation and reducing water flowing out of federally controlled lakes.

.......

"Former Gov. Roy Barnes, a Democrat who was defeated in 2002, told reporters this week that he had planned to offer grants to fix leaks that waste millions of gallons of water each year. He also said he planned to build three new state reservoirs in north and west Georgia to help insulate the state from a future water crisis. But those plans died when he left office."

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Here, here, DK poster. Pelosi and Reid DO suck and I call them every other day to tell them just that. You go to Congress with the Democrats you have not the Democrats that you want.

Daily Kos: Representative Pelosi and Senator Reid -- YOU SUCK:

"OK -- let's review why I'm so damn pissed off at the Democratic Leadership."

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Corporate welfare protected by BushCo.

Air service in the U.S. sucks a-hole.

Airlines squeeze fliers as profit soars:

"The nation's airlines were late more often this summer, lost more baggage and bumped more passengers off flights than in any summer this decade. They also made more money. Despite the worst summer ever for air travelers, major airlines posted huge profits as they packed more passengers into fewer and smaller planes.

Profit at American Airlines, the nation's largest carrier, jumped more than tenfold to $175 million in the third quarter while Delta Air Lines, the third-largest, said net income quadrupled to $220 million compared with the year-earlier period. Profit would have been higher if not for rising fuel costs. The results elated investors but fueled anger among consumer groups. 'I'm aghast there isn't more public outcry over this,' said Kate Hanni, president of the Coalition for an Airline Passengers' Bill of Rights, a consumer advocacy group based in Napa Valley. 'They're making money hand over fist at the expense of passengers.'"

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I never wore a bike helmet until my early 30s. And that's because going 30-40 miles an hour on a mountain trail warrants a hard shell noggin coverer.

Kids are hard to break. Let them get hurt.

Warning: Fun ahead / Safety first, yes, but today's overprotected kids need to live a little:

"The wussification of American children is a relatively recent phenomenon, but a very real one. We pamper our kids, over-schedule them, overemphasize fairness in competition (the score ends in a tie ... again!) and keep them indoors too much, to the point that we're doing them a huge disservice. Kids aren't learning how to get hurt, lose, fend for themselves, find their balance and discover minor dangers on their own - all important parts of growing up."

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Those wacky Europeans

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Don't Head-Butt the Baby

My tank is truly empty at the moment so I'll just throw up a few things.

First, there's some of this (really a good, short read):

Paul Krugman - Op-Ed Columnist - New York Times Blog:

"Middle class America: That’s the country I grew up in. It was a society without extremes of wealth or poverty, a society of broadly shared prosperity, partly because strong unions, a high minimum wage, and a progressive tax system helped limit inequality. It was also a society in which political bipartisanship meant something: in spite of all the turmoil of Vietnam and the civil rights movement, in spite of the sinister machinations of Nixon and his henchmen, it was an era in which Democrats and Republicans agreed on basic values and could cooperate across party lines."

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Then some of this (kick the baby! Don't kick the baby)

Police: Irate Woman Throws Baby At Trooper:

"NORTH EAST, Md. -- A Maryland mother was arraigned on drug and child abuse charges after police said she threw her 6-month-old child across a room at a police officer."

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Then some more of this.... (tough time of the year to be a baby)

Robber Grabs Toddler During Bank Heist:

"A bank robber grabbed a toddler and held the boy at gunpoint while demanding thousands of dollars from a teller, authorities said. The startling scene was captured on surveillance video that shows the little boy staring up at the gun."

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Then a little of this (look Ma, no hands... or arms... Or... 'I can kill a man with my bare... ummm...')

Autopsy: Head-Butt Didn't Cause Death:

"A man died of a heart attack after being head-butted by an armless man during a fight over a woman, and no felony charges will be filed, authorities said Wednesday. Investigators said they made the determination after learning that Charles Keith Teer, 49, had heart problems long before the confrontation with William Russell Redfern, an artist who has won recognition for drawings he does with his feet."

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Then a little sporting wackiness from the Braves:

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