Thursday, November 16, 2006

Conspiring to Blow-IN a Plane

A Better Internet




"Let's get it on"

krrrk, This is your captian speaking. Our inflight movie today will be Mission Impossible III starring Tom Cruise. We also have a bonus adult feature that can be viewed in row 16 seats A and B. The title of the adult feature is D.A.T.Y. starring two of your fellow passengers. Enjoy your flight and thank you for choosing Delta".

Do you need another example why the "Patriot" Act needs to be repealed. If I can't get a little busy in a trans-continental flight, then the terrorist truley have won.

People need to be able to practice their love.

Mid-flight sexual play lands US couple afoul of anti-terrorism law:
"A couple's ill-concealed sexual play aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles got them charged with violating the Patriot Act, intended for terrorist acts, and could land them in jail for 20 years.

According to their indictment, Carl Persing and Dawn Sewell were allegedly snuggling and kissing inappropriately, 'making other passengers uncomfortable,' when a flight attendant asked them to stop."

Evolution

*fingers in ears* Na-na-na-na-na-na. I can't hear you. Dophin's never had legs. na-na-na-na. The Bible doesn't say that. na-na-na-na. Science tells me lies.

Dolphin may have 'remains' of legs:
"TOKYO - Japanese researchers said Sunday that a bottlenose dolphin captured last month has an extra set of fins that could be the remains of hind legs, a discovery that may provide further evidence that ocean-dwelling mammals once lived on land.

Dolphin legs can't hold a candle to the religious right freak out factor on this next one:

Heart Valves Grown From Womb Fluid Cells:
"CHICAGO (AP) - Scientists for the first time have grown human heart valves using stem cells from the fluid that cushions babies in the womb _ offering a revolutionary approach that may be used to repair defective hearts in the future.
Damn, I can't wait til they get cloning down pat. I'm so going for it.


Early Bird Stripper Special

Another example of the terrorist winning.

Hell, I'm old enough to join these D.O.B.s. Where do I sign up?

Police Halt Strip Show at Men's Club:
"No more bare bodies for the old boys. Police on Monday stripped the local chapter of the International Order of Old Bastards of the exotic dancers who have performed at their meetings for decades.

The club, which consists of about 600 members, has met quarterly for at least 40 years, according to a police report. Members must be at least 35 years old, although the average age is mid-60s, said Richard Story, who described himself as the club's newly installed Arch Old Bastard.

No D'uh

Taking Tests Improves Memory :
"Students, don't cringe, but new research suggests that the very act of taking a test is enough to enhance long-term memory. Furthermore, testing helps students remember not only what they studied for the test, but also related, non-tested concepts.

I'm telling you, a beer and chocolate diet will make you live forever. I'm going to live until I'm 169 y.o.

Chocolate addiction leads to sweet discovery
"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - They were so addicted, they just could not give up their favorite daily snack -- not even in the interest of science.

But chocolate lovers who flunked out of a Johns Hopkins University study on aspirin and heart disease helped researchers stumble on an explanation of why a little chocolate a day can cut the risk of heart attack.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2654858

JPW said...

umm, hmmm. "You honor, I wasn't feeling too well. I was just resting my lips on my girlfriends labia. Nothing wrong with that, right?"