Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Stippers, Tequila, Torture and Landslides

A terrible event in San Francisco yesterday. A landslide occurred on Broadway street running through what is known as the 'Stripper District' of my fair city. As the hateful fates would have it, Showgirls Cabaret was damaged due to said landslide.

The landslide brings me down... indeed:

North Beach landslide forces evacuations
Rocks crashed down into the rear of Broadway Showgirls Cabaret, next to a residential hotel. Police barricades are blocking the front of Showgirls, which has been red-tagged, as well as two four-story apartment buildings west of the club.

I'm solociting funds to help support those dancers of the exotic variety who are affected by this terrible tragedy. My promise to you is that every last dime you send in, will be passed directly to the dancers, dollar after dollar, night after night, until each and everyone of them has been personally touched by your generousity.

My email is in my profile. I'll send you my address and you can start mailing those checks.... or even it it just a dollar... make sure it is a dollar bill, though. Singles show you care.


In what can only be explained as "The Most Ridiculous Thing in the History of the United States if Bush was NOT our President", the Army is bringing in Jack Bauer to tell the troops that torture is bad.

Next up, Paris Hilton will be traveling the country visiting 5th grade classes telling the children the benefits of abstinence and 'straight-edge' living.

U.S. Army Invites Kiefer Sutherland to Give Anti-Torture Speech at
"HOLLYWOOD - 24 star Kiefer Sutherland has accepted an invitation from the U.S. military to teach army cadets it is wrong to torture prisoners. "

So this is how bad it has become. This is how run down and ill trained our military has become under the reckless-drunken-direction of Dear Leader. An actor who plays a fictional TV character on one of the most fantastic (in the fantasy sense) and ridiculous shows on TV must go to the troops and explain to them very slowly that what he does is made up. Not real. Shouldn't be copied.

"Kool Kids Don't Torture"

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Update: It is even worse than you think...

Former Army Specialist: U.S. Troops ‘Turn To TV And Movies’ For Torture Techniques:
"Interrogators didn’t have guidance from the military on what to do because we were told that the Geneva Conventions didn’t apply any more. So our training was obsolete, and we were encouraged to be creative. We turned to television and movies to look for ways of interrogating. I can say that I saw that with myself, also. I would adopt the posture of the television or movie interrogator, thinking that establishing that simple power arrangement, establishing absolute power over the detainee, would force him to break. "


Drive a man to drink, I swear. But wait... I may not be able to do that for much longer due to the B.S. push for biofuel.

We'll run out of beer before we run out of oil


Thank Hey-Zeus for the Mexican's, though. They'll keep us plenty liquored up.

This restaurant is a few blocks away from my house. Julio Bermejo is very good friends with my roommate. The man is SERIOUS about his Tequila:

Mastering Tequila, one glass at a time:
"Tommy's Mexican Restaurant, with a mere 275 bottles squeezed onto its shelves, no longer has the largest selection of 100 percent blue agave Tequila outside of Mexico, but likely has the most Tequila-savvy clientele. The restaurant's Blue Agave tasting club is the nation's largest, with more than 6,000 members -- not too shabby considering the restaurant is located out in San Francisco's avenues and the bar has only nine stools."

Now the Blue Agave Club has several levels and corresponding degrees. For the master's level, students must drink 35 different kinds of Tequila to graduate, upon which they receive a T-shirt, a framed diploma and a Tequila Master booklet. With 35 additional tastings of Tequila and a (notoriously difficult) 70-question written test, ambitious students can earn a Ph.D. (if they drink the Tequila in margaritas) or become a Ninja Master (if they drink it neat in snifters). Then, if the student visits Tequila distilleries in Mexico, usually on a Bermejo-led tour, he or she becomes a Demigod of Tequila.

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