Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tragedy in Buttholeville

Tragedy struck Buttholeville (aka Florence, AL, my hometown) Friday when a blue hair mistook the gas for the brake and ploughed into one of the best BBQ joints in North Alabama. Bunyan's is located about a block from where I grew up. It was a weekly staple... sometimes twice and thrice weekly.

3 injured when car crashes through Florence restaurant | TimesDaily.com
FLORENCE – Three people were injured just after 11 a.m. today when a car crashed through the west side window of Bunyan’s Bar-B-Que on College Street in Florence



They do BBQ Florence style with mayo and/or hot slaw. Smoked meat, no sauce. Inside or outside meat. I always went outside. You can get a side of sauce that is vinegar/sweet based. They use soft, white bread buns that are warmed and smashed. They do hot dogs with their slaw, too. Bag of Golden Flake chips.... a Coe-Cola.... My mouth is watering just thinking of one.

This really sucks ass. I hope the 3 Bunyans BBQ Nazi ladies are OK. They've been working the counter from my very first memories. They don't fuck around, either. You better know what you want to order when you walk through the door or you'll find your ass at the back of the line, quick.

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OK, a 22 y.o dude and a 20 y.o. chick... on a cruise.... fell of a balcony.... want the 'circumstances to remain private'.... what do you suppose they were doing? (que porno music) Just sayin'.

Not only did the motion of the ocean get them.... the size of the ship almost killed them:

Ship passengers who fell seek privacy:
The 22-year-old man and 20-year-old woman had only minor injuries after falling into the Gulf of Mexico from a balcony on the Grand Princess ship, said Julie Benson, a spokeswoman for Princess Cruises. They have asked that the circumstances remain private and requested that no personal information be released."
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Don't suppose booze was involved with Mr. and Mrs. Shipwrecked, do you?

Drink 'more harmful than drugs':
"Alcohol is ranked almost as harmful as heroin in a controversial new drug classification system proposed by a team of leading scientists.

The class A drug Ecstasy, possession of which can result in a seven-year prison sentence, is placed near the bottom of the league table which lists 'harm scores' for different substances.

LSD, another class A drug, is also considered relatively safe despite its powerful hallucinogenic properties.

Cannabis, recently downgraded to class C, occupies a middle position. It is rated more dangerous than Ecstasy, LSD and the dance floor drug GHB, but less harmful than tobacco."
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Speaking of booze and drugs, this article recently ran in S.F.'s paper.

Any dude that would do this needs to be strung up by his balls. But, the story is a great one. Two vigilant chicks and a bartender totally stopped a date rape. All three should be given an award. No joke.

Date in jail for drugging beer / Quick-thinking S.F. pair nail man slipping his companion a mickey:
"It looked for all the world as if the couple on a date -- he was darkly handsome and a little older than the pretty, petite blonde with the Russian accent -- were having a great time together."
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Oh, religion. Without fear, what do you really have.

God-fearing villagers snub "satanic" bar codes:
"MOSCOW (Reuters) - A hundred residents of a Russian village have refused to switch to new passports because they believe the documents' bar codes contain satanic symbols, state television reported Wednesday.

'We believe these new passports are sinful,' Valentina Yepifanova, an elderly resident of the village Bogolyubovo, told Rossiya television as she clutched an old, tattered passport she said she wanted to keep.
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I said its hard out here for a pimp. Even 'Pimp of the Year'.

'Pimp of Year' Draws Lengthy Jail Term:
A man who touted himself as 'Pimp of the Year' was sentenced Friday to more than 23 years in federal prison. Matthew 'Knowledge' Thompkins pleaded guilty last year to conspiracy to transport minors to engage in prostitution and conspiracy to engage in money laundering.

Authorities said that the Bronx, N.Y., man had prostitutes working for him in New York; Atlantic City; Las Vegas; Philadelphia; Youngstown, Ohio, and other cities.

When he was arrested in December 2005, authorities found two huge trophies in his home proclaiming him 'Pimp of the Year.'"
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This one if a week or so old. I had to post it though because I wanted to get all Chappelle:

Mars, Bitches!

Immense ice deposits found at south pole of Mars:
"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A spacecraft orbiting Mars has scanned huge deposits of water ice at its south pole so plentiful they would blanket the planet in 36 feet of water if they were liquid, scientists said on Thursday."
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2 comments:

Dana said...

Okay, now I'm cravin' some southern BBQ. When I am in Bama I like to go to the Top Hat near Blount Springs. They have always had good BBQ ever since I was a kid. Yummm! But in college it was Dreamland BBQ all the way.

JPW said...

I'm cravin' too, Dana, since I blogged about it. Luckily we've got a place in SF called Memphis Minnies. Quality, quality BBQ, if a bit expensive, in the Haight District. The owner has a Dreamland t-shirt hanging on the wall. Home away from home.