Thursday, April 12, 2007

Drunk as a Bat

My god, those Bushes and their cultist are some egotistical douches. In true Bush fashion, they usurp the will of the people... again.

Florida Legislature Forces University To Idolize Jeb Bush:

Two weeks ago, the University of Florida voted to deny Jeb Bush an honorary degree. By a 38-28 vote, the faculty Senate rejected the former governor’s nomination, citing concerns about some of Bush’s education initiatives, including his dismantling of affirmative action programs in the state:
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Speaking of Gators.... I guess "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" doesn't apply:



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If this happened anywhere near Dallas, Texas, then I know the perp.

Police: ATM thief's fake leg falls off in escape bid:

"POMONA, California (AP) -- A man accused of using a chain and pickup truck to yank a 1,500-pound ATM from a market failed to escape police when his prosthetic leg fell off during the getaway.
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Great, great author.

Kurt Vonnegut RIP:

NEW YORK (AP) - Kurt Vonnegut mixed the bitter and funny with a touch of the profound in books such as 'Slaughterhouse-Five,' 'Cat's Cradle,' and 'Hocus Pocus.'

Vonnegut, regarded by many critics as a key influence in shaping 20th-century American literature, died Wednesday at 84. He suffered brain injuries after a recent fall at his Manhattan home, said his wife, photographer Jill Krementz.

Vonnegut's more than a dozen books, short stories, essays and plays contained elements of social commentary, science fiction and autobiography."
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Waffle House.

Study Reveals How Drunken Bats Sober Up:

"Bats often risk getting drunk off cocktails of alcohol that stew inside ripened fruit. And just as driving is dangerous for intoxicated humans, so is flying for boozy bats."
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What happens when you tell you Catholic mom that you're an atheist? She proves your point for you.

It's funny because it's true.

WARNING: Dirt words used.... by the Catholic mom.



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4 comments:

davyproctorboy said...

The Jeb Bush thing: I hope that is an article from The Onion. Please please please tell me it is not "real"!

Jenn said...

"If this happened anywhere near Dallas, Texas, then I know the perp."

Fucking CRACKED me up!

Anonymous said...

" God Damn you Michael! Jesus died so you could get shitty electronics. Didn't you learn anything at church you little fucker!"
Ant

JPW said...

Davy: Of course its real. You should be conditioned to such insanity by now.

Jenn: We gotta get them boys some more tour dates. :-D

Ant: Exactly!