Thursday, February 18, 2010

What Tiger Should Do

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter
"'I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina.'"
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It is no secret how little I think of what passes as news media today. I'm equally disgusted with the predictable kabuki of the fallen media star. Build 'em up, tear them down. Go to some sort of rehab then get on the cover of Whatever Magazine with a big 'Sorry! I fucked up'. Apologize, go on Oprah, rehabilitate the 'image' only b/c the ' image rehabilitation' is mandated by the marketers who still want to make money off your ass.

Thus is the trap Tiger is in.

My fantasy:

Tiger steps to the podium tomorrow gives the ol' 'trying time for me, my family and my fans'.... next he says "But, I was checking my bank account this morning and, well, fuck every last one of you. I'm Tiger Woods, bitches! I'll fuck who I want to fuck when I want to fuck them"!

Then Tiger just goes all gansta. Pulls out a big ass chain with a full sized gold-plated bent golf club dangling from the end.

Next he introduces Kanye as his new caddy.

Lastly he whips out his (some say large) dick and pimp walks to the front row where Jesper Parnevik and David Feherty and other faux outraged Tiger commentators and fake news people are sitting (yeah, Fox and Friends need to be there too) and slaps each and everyone of those bitches in the face with his prodigious member.

Still at the podium, Kanye screams "White America's Worst Nightmare: Rich, Black, and Just Don't Give a Fuck" and "Where are the white woman at!"

Still holding his dick, Tiger returns to the podium where he states "If any of y'all motherfuckers has anything additional to say about me, about what I do, or about my family, you can talk to this motherfucker I'm holding in my hand" (gets a little Samuel Jackson here).

Next tournament, he moon walks in his spikes across the 18th. Taunts little old white ladies in the gallery. Bangs the course President's daughter in a port-a-potty in between the 9th green and 10th tee....

I would empty my bank account purchasing new and improved Tiger products. I swear to god.

Alas. A boy and his dream.

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Somethings afoot with the Public Option, but I'm waiting to see it is all for show once again.

Making those phone calls, though.

Exclusive: Sanders joins Dems in final push for public option | Raw Story:
"The public option is not just important for the individual consumer, it is an important mechanism to provide competition for the private, for-profit health insurance industry, to keep them honest, and to lower the overall cost of health care in our country,' he said."
And before yesterday, I would have bet a pretty penny that Feinstein wouldn't sign on.

Happy and surprised to be wrong.

Dianne Feinstein Signs On To Public Option Push

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More on Bayh-douche. His daddy he ain't

Bill Maher: 'Corporatist' Evan Bayh Is What's Wrong With Senate (VIDEO):

"Evan Bayh is not a centrist, he's a corporatist, according to Bill Maher.

Maher appeared on 'Anderson Cooper 360' Tuesday night to comment on the state of affairs in Washington, D.C. He argued that Evan Bayh, the retiring Senator from Indiana, is what's wrong with Congress. The Senate is 'where legislation goes to die,' Maher says, because 'corporatist Democrats' like Bayh act like Republicans.

Maher told Cooper that politics are not polarized enough and that the U.S. lacks a real progressive party."
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Robert L. Borosage: Bipartisan Blight III: Evan Bayh Bye:
"The harsh reality is that Bayh has been wrong about virtually everything. And the country suffers not because partisanship blocked action, but because the establishment consensus got too much of his agenda enacted.

Bayh supported the catastrophic invasion of Iraq. He joined the bipartisan celebration of banking deregulation. He favors more military spending. He favored tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans in an age of Gilded Age inequality. He was an advocate of corporate free trade policies that encouraged multinationals to ship jobs to a mercantilist China willing to subsidize them. He's a champion of bipartisanship -- bipartisan folly."
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I share philosophies with the next two posts from DKos posters.

Hell raising, uncompromising Progressives.

None of this pragmatic, slicing babies horse-shit.

Daily Kos: I'm sick of centrist do-nothingism:
"I'm sick of do-nothingism. I'm sick of excuse making for political stagnation. I'm sick of no results. I'm sick of attacks on those of us who want to change things. Those of us who actually have hope that we can change everything if we want it, and we can do it now. I'm sick of the hopeless and heartless centrists telling us we can't do what we want right now."
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This guy takes it to the wussy Dems (not the elected ones, the base party members) as succinctly as I've seen.

Daily Kos: Throw The Bums Out:
"The People voted for Change....and they ain't getting it.

And past a certain point, they don't REALLY care why.

And they sure don't care about excuses.

So if The Dems don't want to get their asses Thrown Out, they better start delivering Change.

Period.

End of Story."
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It worked, but it wasn't large enough to bring unemployment down just like we dirty fucking hippies said.

Economic Scene - Success of Stimulus Bill Is Noteworthy as Another Is Weighed - NYTimes.com:
"If that had happened, what would the economy look like today?

Well, it would look almost exactly as it does now. Because those nice descriptions of the stimulus that I just gave aren’t hypothetical. They are descriptions of the actual bill."
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Lot of good folks down there. I'm glad those good folks righted this wrong.

Think Progress � Nashville residents of all faiths pledge support for local Muslims after hate crime vandalism.

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An issue of prohibition. If weed was legal, there wouldn't be a market for a fucking chemical with god-knows-what in it mimicking the real deal.

Only for idiots:

Cops: Imitation pot as bad as the real thing - Yahoo! News

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I bet that percentage is higher in the deep south of the U.S.

I happen to like sexy Canadian Bacon. Oh yeah.

MAPLE LEAF FOODS INC. | Asked to choose between bacon and sex, 43 per cent of Canadians would choose...bacon!:
"MISSISSAUGA, ON, Feb. 3 /CNW/ - According to a recent national survey, Canadians are passionate about bacon. When asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon! Maple Leaf commissioned this Angus Reid For the Love of Bacon survey to mark the launch of their newest product innovation, Maple Leaf Reclosable Bacon."
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2 comments:

Shannon said...

Why choose? Sex AND bacon. Hell yeah!

JPW said...

Mmmmm. Greasy. ;) I like the way you think!