Of Mice and Fish

Image via xenophile

'Don't take your love, away from me. Fill my heart with misery. If you do then I'll be BLUE, cause breakin' up is hard to, do-ew."

And that's particularly true with Southern women. They usually don't go sniffling into the night and it doesn't matter who did the breakin' up.

MACON, Georgia (AP) -- President Bush's once-solid relationship with Southern women is on the rocks.

'I think history will show him to be the worst president since Ulysses S. Grant,' said Barbara Knight, a self-described Republican since birth and the mother of three. 'He's been an embarrassment.'

Yet, I temper my enthusiasm over such reporting because at the end of the article we see that there are still plenty of kool-aid drinkers out there:

"There are some people, and I'm one of them, that believe George Bush was placed where he is by the Lord," Tomanio said. "I don't care how he governs, I will support him. I'm a Republican through and through."

"I don't care how he governs". But you will elect him to govern? My, bad, my bad... Silly me, trying to make sense of your beautiful mind. Hey look over there, baby Jesus! (pronounced hey-zeus just to piss them off).

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Election time is near, so, **clears throat**, 'mi-mi-mi-mi, la la la la'. Ok, I'm ready, ahem, "bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laaaaaaaa-den".

"The spectacle of the president of the United States extensively quoting Osama bin Laden to bolster his controversial policies during political season deserves notice, and reflection.

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And we all know whose hand is slipped up the back of Shrub-a-dub's shirt, don't we?

''You're not such a scary guy,' joked his guide. 'Yes, I am,' Rove replied. Walking away, he muttered deliberately and loudly: 'I change constitutions, I put churches in schools.''

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For the year, SF was, again, rank the #2 most educated city in the U.S. That's why we can come up with something like this:

Anti-terror fish guard S.F.'s water / Bluegill monitored to detect an attack on city's drinking supply:

"Fish are being drafted in San Francisco's war against possible terrorist threats to its water supply.

Akin to hospital gadgets that chart a patient's heart rate and breathing, a new water-quality monitoring system automatically analyzes the behavior of eight to 12 bluegill fish in a tank at the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission's water-treatment plant in Millbrae.

If the computers sense that the fish are upset by something in the water, 'the system immediately triggers water samples to be taken, and the staff are alerted by pager and e-mail,' said commission spokesman Tony Winnicker.

The monitoring system, which costs $110,000 per unit, was installed in April. Instruments inside the tank listen for phenomena such as fish coughs."