Monday, October 23, 2006

Tag! You're not it!

We are producing several generations of dimwitted (No Child Left Behind), obese, little pussies. No tag!? Outrageous! Why don't parents just package their children in bubble-wrap and arm them with a can of pepper spray, then never let them leave the house.

Oh, and I didn't have to wear no stinkin' helmet when I rode my bike as a kid. It taught me how to fall.... and how to survive a fall. Now look at me. I've got my own blog. Yeah.

Playing tag now a no-no at some US schools:
"WASHINGTON (AFP) - Two Massachusetts primary schools this week joined a growing list of US schools that have banned the age-old game of tag for fear that children may get hurt and their parents will sue.

Officials at McCarthy Elementary School in Framingham in the northeastern state, told local media that children have been ordered to invent a new no-contact version of the game for safety reasons."

I almost posted this article alone today. I mean, really, how does one produce a snarky enough comment to compete with the 'Greatest Headline Ever'.

Dang, I want to hang out in Spain. Bet they play tag.... and don't have to wear helmets when they ride their bikes. It must of been a crazy night. I hear the bear pulled first, though. Got what he deserved. Can't hold his likker for shit, either.

Spanish king denies shooting drunk bear:
"MADRID, Spain - The king says it didn't happen. And the bear isn't around to talk about it anymore.

A spokeswoman for Spanish King Juan Carlos said Thursday that Russian reports the 68-year-old monarch brought down a tamed and inebriated bear during a visit in August were 'ridiculous.'

The palace confirmed the king, who is known to enjoy hunting, was in Russia at the time of the alleged shooting, but it says he didn't kill any bear, let alone one that was fed vodka-spiked honey.

'He neither hunted with (Russian President Vladimir) Putin nor killed a bear,' a spokeswoman for the palace told The Associated Press."

'Screw you guys.... I'm goin' home'.

Can't you just see them in Texas frantically trying to revive his ass so they don't get gypped on some killin'.

Texas inmate kills self day of execution:
"LIVINGSTON, Texas - A death-row inmate slit his own throat with a makeshift knife early Thursday, committing suicide about 15 hours before he was scheduled to be executed, a prison official said."

Hello! Evolution, people. The Croc Hunter was a test case although they've been thinking for years how to stop him from harassing them.

The stingrays have figured it out. "Go for the chest, boys, that's where they're weakest."

Stingray Leaps Into Boat, Stabs Man in Chest:
"LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Florida (Oct. 19) - A stingray jumped into the boat of an 81-year-old Florida man and stabbed him in the chest, leaving its long barb stuck in him, authorities said."

No comments: