Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Too Little Sex, Too Much Jesus, Too Many Krystal Burgers

Some Problems

Here's just a couple of articles (there are and will be many more) detailing the "problems" (that only seem to affect Democratic candidates) with e-voting that are cropping up this election cycle. Educate yourself on your local voting procedures and take it upon yourself to educate your parents, grandparents, or any one who might not have any experience around a computer.

Really, though, the smart thing to do is to vote absentee or ask for a provisional ballot at the booths. Try to stay away from the e-voting machines at all costs.

Florida ballot terminals favor Republicans

Texas Voting Problems

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WTF, man, WTF. Isn't even illegal.

Salon: Money trails lead to Bush judges:
"An investigation has revealed that two dozen federal judges contributed thousands of dollars to Republicans who 'helped place them on the bench,' Salon is reporting."
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Of all the stupid shit the Republicans pull, this is got to be in the top 5. Of course, it isn't stupid to them because one of their croonies is making money off this somehow, but, my god.

What is their problem with sex? What repressive gene do they house that makes them detest sex so? You can't stop a teenager from having sex. That shit is hard wired into the system. Once the teenager figures out how to get sex and moves on to his/her twenties there's no way to stop them from having sex again 'cause they done figured out how to get it.

Another example of pissed away tax dollars

Abstinence message goes beyond teens:
"The federal government's 'no sex without marriage' message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007.

The government says the change is a clarification. But critics say it's a clear signal of a more directed policy targeting the sexual behavior of adults.

'They've stepped over the line of common sense,' said James Wagoner, president of Advocates for Youth, a Washington, D.C.-based non-profit that supports sex education. 'To be preaching abstinence when 90% of people are having sex is in essence to lose touch with reality. It's an ideological campaign. It has nothing to do with public health.'
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Some Solutions

Again, educate your ass on voting locally:

The Paper Trail Landscape:
"So, the media finally woke up and discovered just weeks before an election what election reform activists have been saying for years: our election system is broken.

It seem you can't open a newspaper or check the news online lately without a story about the vulnerability of electronic voting. Perhaps the press could have participated in the debate, oh, two years ago, when public pressure would have helped to remedy the problem? You know, instead of a week before the election. "
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Don't take any shit off anybody and hit back really, really hard. Kerry's figured out what he should of done in 2004 with those lying Swiftboat motherfuckers:

Kerry lashes out after GOP furor over comments:
'I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq,' rails Kerry, in the statement. 'It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.'"
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"You better know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run".

Kenny Rogers has a better foreign policy message than the Neocons.

How to cut and run:
"THE UNITED STATES upset the regional balance in the Middle East when it invaded Iraq. Restoring it requires bold initiatives, but 'cutting and running' must precede them all. Only a complete withdrawal of all U.S. troops — within six months and with no preconditions — can break the paralysis that now enfeebles our diplomacy. And the greatest obstacles to cutting and running are the psychological inhibitions of our leaders and the public.

Our leaders do not act because their reputations are at stake. The public does not force them to act because it is blinded by the president's conjured set of illusions: that we are reducing terrorism by fighting in Iraq; creating democracy there; preventing the spread of nuclear weapons; making Israel more secure; not allowing our fallen soldiers to have died in vain; and others."
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Other Shite

There is not an American alive that this doesn't affect. Happy trails, Bob. Happy trails.

Bob Barker Retiring After 50 Years on TV:
"He said he'd take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: 'I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don't want to be just another beautiful body.'"
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So this Sunday, I caught a World Eating Championship that was held in Chattanooga, Tenn. The food, Krystal Burgers. If you are from the South, you know what I'm talking about. If you're a Yankee then I'd relate it to White Castle. If you from the West then you probably moved there from the South or the North so you still know what I'm talking about.

The Krystal Burger has been a 2 a.m. alcohol soaking-up staple for me on many an occasion when I lived in the South. I was partial to what they called the Chili-cheese Pup. I think I could eat about twentie of them right now.

Twentie Krystals wouldn't have even gotten me in the competition. All the big hitters were there. Here's Krystal's website on the competition

Krystal Square Off

Here is the IFOCE's press release on the winner. You might know Kobayashi from the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. He holds many records including 20lbs of rice balls. Crazy.

Kobayashi ate 97 Krystals in 8 minutes.

International Federation of Competitive Eating - IFOCE:
"Kobayashi with 97 Krystals
10/28/2006

Takeru Kobayashi raised the bar of athletic greatness yet again today, devouring 97 Krystals in 8 minutes in what was arguably the most impressive competitive eating feat of all time. In doing so, Kobayashi defended his title in the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship, which he has held since its inception in 2004.

Joey Chestnut once again challenged Kobayashi until the final seconds, eating 91 Krystals. Patrick Bertoletti finished third with 76. The totals were as follows:

Takeru Kobayashi: 97
Joey Chestnut: 91
Pat Bertoletti: 76
Bob Shoudt: 65
Chip Simpson: 55
Tim Janus: 55
Sonya Thomas: 53
Rich LeFevre: 52
Arturo Rios: 44
Crazy Legs Conti: 42
Seaver Miller: 40
Dale Boone: 38
Justin Mih: 36"
Check out the IFOCE Records . If you can eat it, then someone has eaten a lot of it in a short period of time.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's the deal...these folks have been fighting each other over their differences since the death Mohammed. We need to get out and let them kill themselves off, not us. They are gonna do it regardless. Nothing we can do about it...NADA! The only thing we have accomplished by being there is bringing the two sides to agree on one thing..."they hate America". War Pigs...every last one of them!

JPW said...

Well, we agree on one thing. We need to get the fuck out, for sure. You don't create peace by inserting war.

You kick somebodies ass who requires it with war. Anti-war I am not, but this Iraq fiasco was not required by a long shot.

"...these folks have been fighting each other over their differences since the death Mohammed"

It is not just "these folks". Plenty of whiteys have been doing the same thing in the name of christ for far longer.

I agree that the message we've brought to the middle east is "hate america".

"War pigs"... You're talking about the Neocons, right?

Haney said...

I feel sorry for Joey Chestnut - 91 Krystals and he still loses

JPW said...

Chestnut purposefully low-balled his qualifying eat.... something like 50... just so he wouldn't be placed next to Koby at the table. 'Nut confessed to a psych factor with Koby.

The difference was telling with a minute to go. 'Nut was all red and sweating lookin' like he was about to explode. Koby looked like he was ready for desert. I swear, if they'd of given him another 8 minutes he would have eaten 97 more. Dude is not real.

davyproctorboy said...

JPW---Yeah. As if "westerners" have not been killing each other for centuries (WWI, WWII, Thirty Years (!!!) War, U.S. Civil War, etc., etc. etc. and so on and on) often over religion, and often not.

JPW said...

Hell, adhereants to Islam are about 400-600 years behind on killing if they want to catch up with the Christian body count.