Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I wouldn't call it a 'rampage'

My bad, y'all. Though I wouldn't call it a rampage. Me running around naked in public? I call that a gift to all humans.

Naked Man Allegedly Goes on Rampage

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This might have something to do with the above.... if you left out the 'functioning' part:

Are You A Functioning Alcoholic?

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If you're getting a lap dance and the stripper kicks you in the head with her heel, you shouldn't sue, you should tip more.

Unless she was a midget. Then I understand.

NYC businessman claims lap dance injury:

"A businessman claims in a lawsuit that he was injured when a stripper giving him a lap dance swiveled and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe."
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Let it flow (NSFW)



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4 comments:

ABAT said...

Nah mate, that's a rampage. What I want to know is how the hell he damaged a $90,000 meat-wrapping machine! That could get ugly real quick and bring a dramatic end to your rampage.
The guy is a legend.

We call a functioning alcoholic a 'pisshead' - the country is full of 'em. Especially on St Paddy's day. Beautiful, hot weather this year and since they've made us dirty, filthy bastard smokers go outside to inhale, a great day to drink on the sidewalk outside the bars.

Maybe the lapdancing bars could have a disclaimer like they do on the back of tickets to motorsports - "lapdancing is dangerous, by entering the club you absolve said club of all liability should you be stupid enough to get kicked in the face". Sheesh, gimme a break (or a kick). What's a girl gotta do to earn a buck these days?


Mate, the video link doesn't work - it wasn't that Osbourne girl on a naked rampage was it? Maybe a lapdance? Glad I missed it.

ABAT said...

Ahhh. Now the video plays. Sounds like dinner time at my place. Beautiful - make a great ringtone.

JPW said...

I didn't even want to touch the 90k meat grinder issue, ABAT. My boys crawl up into my arse at just the thought.

The girls need to get out of the titty bar and into the governors mansions to make the serious jack.

That would be a hilarious ring tone, for sure

Townser said...

If blueballs constitute an injury, then I smell a class action suit.

As for the so-called "rampage", here in KC, we call that Tuesday. Although personally I cringe at the thought of the words "naked" and "meat-wrapping machine" being used in the same story.