Monday, May 25, 2009

Hot for Tonka

"I'll kill all of the Jews... once I finish this Super-Size bag of Doritos... and take a nap... oh, and I've got to finish the 28th level of whatever hip video games the kids play these days... but after that those Jews better *yawn*.... mmmm Charleston Jew.... gotta make a run to the Kwik-E-Mart for some candy".

"Ji-haaaa-ha-ha-ha.... Ren and Stimpy are some funny-ass infidels".

Pick your offense: 1. Joking about terrorizing Jewish people. 2. Stereotyping pot smokers.

There's always an option at AAW!

NYC terror ‘mastermind’ tells judge he’s a pothead

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They were against slavery before they were for it.... wait... they're pro-slavery?

RNC Hits Obama For Criticizing Slavery | Media Matters Action Network

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What kind of fucked-up reality show world do we live in when conservatives can't put 2 and 2 together but rather must actually experience something before then determine the correct answer?

They'll only concede that Global Warming is real when they are hanging onto log treading in a vast, vast ocean.

Torture as entertainment? The end must be near.

Conservative radio hosts gets waterboarded, and lasts six seconds before saying its torture

Chicago radio host Erich "Mancow" Muller decided he'd get himself waterboarded to prove the technique wasn't torture.

It didn't turn out that way. "Mancow," in fact, lasted just six or seven seconds before crying foul. Apparently, the experience went pretty badly -- "Witnesses said Muller thrashed on the table, and even instantly threw the toy cow he was holding as his emergency tool to signify when he wanted the experiment to stop," according to NBC Chicago.

"The average person can take this for 14 seconds," Marine Sergeant Clay South told his audience before he was waterboarded on air. "He's going to wiggle, he's going to scream, he's going to wish he never did this."

Mancow was set on a 7-foot long table with his legs elevated and his feet tied.

"I wanted to prove it wasn't torture," Mancow said. "They cut off our heads, we put water on their face...I got voted to do this but I really thought 'I'm going to laugh this off.' "

The upshot? "It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that's no joke," Mancow told listeners. "It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back...It was instantaneous...and I don't want to say this: absolutely torture."

"Absolutely. I mean that's drowning," he added later. "It is the feeling of drowning."

"If I knew it was gonna be this bad, I would not have done it," he said.

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Must read for all Democrats going on the TV.

Democrats: if you're going on TV, learn how to "debate!":

"But the key is what chumley said--it is entertainment, and they are shameless. So grant them no respect, offer them no quarter and smile while doing it."
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Pwned.

Milk is a gateway drug to bourbon

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The incredible shrinking party.

National Journal Magazine - For GOP, A Southern Exposure

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I blogged about Maria a few months back. I can't image doing this when I'm 97.... and if I am, brace yourself for post after post detailing my body functions.

Maria Amelia Lopez: "World's Oldest Blogger," 97, Dies In Spain:

"A Spanish great-grandmother who billed herself as the 'world's oldest blogger' and who gained a global following on the Internet, died today at the age of 97, local officials and reports said.

Maria Amelia Lopez, who was introduced to the world of blogging by one of her grandchildren, used a mix of humour and nostalgia to recall life during the long dictatorship of Francisco Franco and give her take on modern life.

'Today it's my birthday and my grandson, who is very stingy, gave me a blog,' she wrote on her first post on amis95.blogspot.com on December 23, 2006."
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To hell with a Tonka!

Toddler buys earthmover in online auction:

"WELLINGTON, New Zealand – A New Zealand mom made some online bids on toys before napping. Then her 3-year-old daughter took over and bought a bigger plaything than expected — a huge earth-moving digger for a cool $12,300."
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Hmm. Well then.

Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar

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2 comments:

Matt Osborne said...

I've got the Mancow video on my site. He lasts like, three seconds. And the "torturer" is being so extra nice and gentle about it.

JPW said...

Mancalf was on Olberman last night. He said Hannity called him and said it still wasn't torture.

Please, god, if I could only have 15 minutes alone with that pussy Hannity.

Agreed, boybovine didn't have his arms tied nor a gun at his head nor people screaming at him.