Thursday, May 17, 2007

One Nation, Under Douchebags....

One Nation, under a bunch of fucking douchebags....

Did you catch the train wreck that was the 2nd Republican debate? My god, these whitey Mcwhitsers loves them some torture. McCain and Paul were the only two who resembled actual human beings and McCain is as looney as a fucking bat and Paul is.... who the fuck is Paul anyway?

Republicans think that '24' is real. They constantly rail on Hollywood ut their vision of the world is based entirely on a fictional (and really bad) television series.

Johnny S makes it 'Crystal Clear' per norm:

Jon Stewart Analyzes the FOX News GOP Debate:

"Jon Stewart combs through last night's Republican debate and is amazed to learn that (a) Brit Hume's hypothetical terrorist attack sounds very familiar to a plot line from a popular FOX show, and (b) Romney was able to land a 'Double Guantanamo' in competition."
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More on these evil fuckers and the South Carolinian blood thirsters they played to:

Audience Applauds As Giuliani, Tancredo Endorse Waterboarding Torture

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If laws are purposefully broken by the pResiden of the U.S. and he isn't held accountable, then what the fuck is this country anymore? Are we really that close to a free for all?

The Comey disclosure is astounding.

Guess I better go to Wal-Fucking-Mart and load up on guns and ammo. Mad Max, here we come.

Impeach this MotherFucker! And to those who are reading this, educate yourself and call your Reps and Senators and make your voice heard.

Short answer to the question below: Yes.

Did Bush initially authorize unwarranted taps?:

"'There were many fascinating threads to the testimony on Tuesday by the former deputy attorney general, James Comey, who described the night in March 2004 when two top White House officials tried to pressure an ailing and hospitalized Attorney General John Ashcroft into endorsing President Bush’s illegal wiretapping operation,' the editorial begins. 'But the really big question, an urgent avenue for investigation, is what exactly the National Security Agency was doing before that night, under Mr. Bush’s personal orders.'"
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He ain't leaving until he gets his medal of freedom.

One of the douchiest of the douchebags

Wolfowitz refuses to quit Bank, wants name cleared�:

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz refused on Wednesday to bow to heavy European pressure to resign as he sought to clear his name in negotiations with the bank's board over a possible exit strategy.
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And the hits keep coming...

Former EPA Chief Refuses To Testify At 9/11 Hearing:

"WASHINGTON — The former head of the Environmental Protection Agency is balking at a request by Rep. Jerrold Nadler that she testify before a congressional hearing on the federal response to the attacks of September 11, 2001.

Christine Todd Whitman, the EPA administrator at the time, has declined an invitation to appear before a House subcommittee that Mr. Nadler chairs, an aide to the congressman said yesterday. Mr. Nadler, whose district includes ground zero, is expected to ask Ms. Whitman again before considering whether to seek to compel her testimony with a subpoena, the aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, said."
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No surprise here....

73% of Americans think the U.S. is in the toilet:

"A new Gallup Poll found only 25 percent of Americans are satisfied with how things are going in the U.S., with 73 percent saying they were disatisfied.

It was one of the lowest ratings since 1979 when Gallup first asked the question. Iraq was the problem survey respondents fround most troubling, Gallup tells us."
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One bright spot this week.

Good riddance you hypocrital piece of shit. Too bad I don't believe in Hell because I would love to imagine Satan fucking you up real bad. Alas, you're rotting corpse will only salt the earth that covers your sorry ass.

Jerry Falwell's hit parade:

"On news of Falwell's death, McCain said in a statement, 'Dr. Falwell was a man of distinguished accomplishment who devoted his life to serving his faith and country.'

Nonsense. He was a bigot, a reactionary, a liar, and a fool. Herewith, a Falwell sampler."


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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

DBT TDU - Great American Music Hall - SF - Night 2

Baby every bone in my body's gone to jumpin' like they gonna come through my skin. If they could get along with out the rest of me it wouldn't matter if they did....

I was a lucky man on the guest list last Monday and Tuesday for the Drive-by Truckers Dirt Underneath shows at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. I was a lucky fan on the guest list......



I want to do it all over again. I want to do those two nights all over again. Change nothing.

Not the stifling, oppressive heat that wilted my air-conditionless city the 3 days before and during the first night of the shows... nor the stomach bug contracted on Monday night that made pre-show Tuesday an adventure in sphincter control... nor the 7 previous 12 hour work days making sure that 700 future attorney's computers worked so they could spew all they knew about torts and contracts and Constitutional law into their exams.

I just want to do it all again.

Exactly. The. Same. As. It. Was.

That's always the case after a Truckers show, isn't it? You just want to do it all over again... and again... and again.....

But, this was something special. Really special.

Not entirely due to the line up change or the sitting down acoustic part... the 'special' this time was the 'magic' this group of musicians created on stage and gave as a priceless gift to those who attended.

Chemistry... collaboration.... ensemble... call it what you may. The Drive-by Truckers took a step up.

Rarely have I been moved like I was on both Monday and Tuesday night. Transported. Transcended.

In my post after the Monday night show I included the definition of the word transcendence:

1 a: exceeding usual limits : surpassing b: extending or lying beyond the limits of ordinary experience cin Kantian philosophy : being beyond the limits of all possible experience and knowledge2: being beyond comprehension3: transcending the universe or material existence

With these TDU shows, DBT exceeded their usual limits... went beyond my experience and knowledge of the band. No longer does Patterson need to concern himself with DBT turning into a parody of itself. DBT has transcended.

DBT has gone beyond....

With this transcendence, the longevity of DBT has increased exponentially, IMO. I feel I'll get to watch this band live in some form or fashion for the rest of my natural days and I plan on living a long damn time. Even if its just Patterson and Cooley in rocking chairs playing out of tune together because then can't hear, all the while cussing at each other for being out of tune. We'll call it old timey avant-redneck-garde.

The expansions are limitless, the talent extraordinary.

What's mind-boggling is that it seems they've only scratched the surface.

Word smyths, tune-crafters, stand up, sit down, soul, muscle, sound, country, rock, country-rock, rock-rock, punk, pop, punk-pop, punktry, git-tars, organs, pie-anners, pedal steel, git-tar bass, bass bass, harmonica, banjo, high harmonies, apparently hand boning and on and on and on.....

I could gush on and on and on....

I'll lump all of the high-high lights from both nights together.

The first thing I notice from both nights were the vocals. Both Patterson and Cooley sang as well as I've ever heard them. Patterson so impressed me with a vocal range I didn't know he had and a harmonized falsetto that had only been displayed occassionally that I thought he might be working with a vocal coach. I asked someone about this and the response was "Nah, Patterson's just pulling it out of his ass".

That is one talented ass.

Cooley's voice was the strongest and tuned I've ever heard from him, too.

Spooner. Fuckin' Spooner, y'all. A freakin' legend on stage with DBT. What a sweet, incredible man.

Neff supplied some sweet high harmonies that really added another dimension to the band.

Shonna worked both alto and lower soprano ranges and her harmonizing on Angels was outstanding. I closed my eyes and I could have been listening to the record.

One song drew me so in that the people around me, the lights, the stage, my chair all disappeared. It was just me floating along with DBT in space. Gravity was gone but the song was "World of Hurt".

PocketShelley posted the following on Patterson's MySpace comments and it sums up the "World of Hurt" experience completely in its simplicity and awe.
"You wrote "World of Hurt". Not only that, but you played it San Francisco this week, and I was there. This make me a very lucky guy. Thank you!"

Matt played Eddie Hinton exclusively first night pre-show. Very sweet!

So intimate was the setting that you could hear Shonna's finger nails click when she whappity-whapped a bass string.

The slower arraignment of One of These Days was beautiful.

Check out time in Vegas: Telling a true tale that sounds better suited for fiction but having the chops to know truth is always stranger than fiction.

That 'Bax' works for the band now is a treat. Check out him and Cooley jamming together here. He makes sweet git-tars.

Puttin' People on the Moon... A personal favorite and both nights completely nailed to the wall by the band. With two grandfathers battling cancer (both worked for TVA) and a father who, recently, had some benign polyps removed... all 3 living in the Shoals... yeah, that song means something to me... especially the scream at the end.

Two daughters.... nothing I can say would do justice.

Buttholeville/State Trooper caught fire and damn near burned the house down. It made me want to throw my chair across the concert hall.

After the Scene Dies is already a personal favorite.

Cooley debuted Lisa's Birthday in San Francisco. In your face, rest of the toured cities!

John Neff can play a guitar like nobodies business. He left me slacked jawed on a couple of solos. And, of course, his pedal steel is other worldly, but his guitar playing is equally impressive.

Shonna playing a stand up bass with a bow.... made my nipples hard.

The Monday night crowd were the aficionados. Standing ovations were being slung left and right.

Tuesday's crowd still contained the same DBT aficionados with the addition of the scenesters and hipsters. Great crowds both nights. San Francisco really came out in force on a Monday and Tuesday. I know you Athens folks don't want to hear this, but I can't imagine two better audiences than the collection in San Francisco.

When I think back to seeing DBT for the first time at The Fillmore opening up for Government Mule, still trucking around in the white van wearing t-shirts where the wrinkles had wrinkles and I compare it to what I saw on Monday and Tuesday, I think, wow.... Cooley can afford silk shirts now.

You've come a long way, DBT.

How ready is this band for an Austin City Limits gig? It's been long over due in my opinion but with this showcase of songs sitting down and tales facing up the folks who book that show just ain't being christian by not having DBT on pronto.

Below are some pictures and the paraphrased quotes I remember from the stage. I didn't write any of them down verbatim, so, I had to rely on the ol'noggin.

All quotes are approximately what was said.








Patterson made a comment about Cooley's Tuesday night shirt.

Cooley's response: "I bought this shirt from a gay man in San Francisco. Can you imagine?"

Cooley takes a beat then says...

"OK, I didn't "buy" it."




Patterson introducing Cooley: "Partner in crime... etc, etc... He's been known for some spontaneous hand boning" (Update: Jenn busted my redneck ass in the comments. It's ham-boning, but I swear I though Patterson said hand boning. Either way, hand boning is still appropriate and a might bit funnier :-)

I wonder if that's how he got the shirt?




Shonna - "I smell taters" (some folks had dinner tickets)




Cooley after a guitar snaffu: "Goddamn acoustic. It just rides up and wedges in my ass... I've only got a couple of more years of being a rockstar and they got me doing this acoustic shit". (said with the best of humor and the entire joint laughed heartily.... so for those that wish to read into this paraphrased statement some sort of discontent, just fucking stop it. STOP IT! Cooley's all about the jokes.)




Patterson relaying his story about his father's two favorite cities. Amsterdam and San Francisco. Said he felt like he grew up in San Francisco.




Can't smoke indoors in California my ass.




Patterson is ponderin' Cooley's shirt.




Cooley: Looks at the table seated directly in front of him whose eyes were at crotch level and says, "I bet y'all are glad I'm not wearin' a dress right now"




Right before the 'pee break' on night 2 a girl sitting near our table gets up, pulls a baggy out of her pocket and proceeds to hand Shonna something. Shonna is smiling at the girl then looks down to see a 6 inch bud of California Kind being placed in her hand. Shonna's eye's get real big and she tosses said greenage back to EZB. You've got to love San Francisco. I told Shonna after the show that in SF, that's what we consider a welcome basket. I also told her she could have worn it in her hair for the encore cause it's pretty much legal here.









Cooley after the only lengthy pause on stage during night 2 that caused the crowd chatter to rise:

"Just 'cause we're dickin' around up here don't mean y'all get to, too"











Cooley's statement before singing "Bob":

"Before y'all get on the computer. Before y'all light a fire under that shit machine, write this on your brain: This song don't mean shit. It don't mean shit".






Let's Play....

What is EZB thinkin'?!

A. What the fuck is Cooley wearing?
B. Cooley's a dick! I told him I was wearing silk tonight.
C. The dude he bought that shirt from must of been really gay.
D. I knew I should have gone with a print instead of a solid.





Ummm, Shonna.... we're, uh, playin' a song.... Shonna?






After Tuesday's show I went back stage to see the boys and girl. Everyone was in a very fine mood... laughing and bullshitting around. They really seemed to have enjoyed themselves.

Cooley was wearing a woven basket on his head. Don't ask. But it did go well with the shirt.

Note to Patterson: It was great chatting with you for a while. I appreciated it very much. Hopefully I'll see you guys real soon.

Note to Josh: Man, I can't thank you enough for taking care of me those two days. You are a fine man.

I over heard Shonna telling a Helen Keller joke so we swapped a few. Shonna knew the punchline to my favorite one "Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?" If you ever run into me ask and I'll give you the punchline... it's partly a visual and sooo funny.

That joke is a definite ticket to Hell. And Shonna knew the punchline. She's too cool.

Tuscumbia, Alabama produced Helen Keller... and Mike Cooley. Go figure.

Shonna made a comment regarding one good eye and her level of being buzzed. This absolutely killed and had everybody giggling their asses off. Again, the band was in a killer mood post show.

About that time, EZB rounds the corner and sees this laughing mess of humanity, cocks one eyebrow up and just shakes his head from side to side. Made the moment even funnier.

I tried to instigate a fight between John Neff and a fake ficus tree. Neff placed a hat on top of a fake ficus. Neff was eyeing it up and I told Neff not to take any shit from the Ficus. Neff stares down the tree for a moment then says "Fucking Ficus". Neff would have beaten that ficus' ass but the ficus wouldn't make the first move.

I agree, Neff. "Fucking Ficus". I can't stand those trees. Coming over here and attaching themselves to our dirt.

American Idol winner Taylor Hicks paid a visit back stage on Tuesday night. He had a show at the Orpheum on Wednesday. Taylor is a super nice guy and a home boy from Alabama. I know people want to give shit about American Idol, but I tell you right now... I watched it when Taylor was on and I cheered him on every week.... Same with Ruben and Bo.

You put someone from Alabama into any kind of competition and I'm there, hardcore, pulling for them to win. Taylor won a competition that is the most watched show on television. He received millions upon millions of votes... was the underdog because he didn't fit some bullshit look...and he came away with a million dollar recording contract. Kick fucking ass, Taylor!

Can't wait for him to get out from under the A.I. thumb so he can get back to his soul roots.






Look at these rascals.




To finish this fucker up..... Change is a beautiful thing. The year of the 'hiatus' is turning into more music than I can handle.

It's great to be alive, y'all!

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Mike Seaver Loves Me, This I Know....

Come hell or high water, you WILL be seeing the DBT TDU SF Night 2 post tomorrow morning.

In the mean time.....

Joss Stone is a singer who has been on my radar for a couple of years. I've always liked her voice but never committed to an album purchase. That all changed when I heard her song "Right to be Wrong".

"Right to be Wrong" might as well of been written, produced, recorded and mixed in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. If this ain't got that Muscle Shoals Soul, then I don't know what does.

So, meet my new English, soul singing girlfriend (I've got an apparent fetish for those English-lady soul singers), Joss Stone. I love her and I wish to be her baby-daddy.

Oh, yeah, I dig good pop music. I'm a music whore.

This is off of her 2nd album. She just released her third in March.




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Check out the Bay Area's Inhuman Eating Machine:

Inhuman Eating Machine:

"Whenever friends meet my Uncle Charles, the first thing he tells them about me is the time he took me to McDonald’s when I visited him and my aunt in Canarsie when I was nine.

He says: “I asked Andy what he wanted to eat and he says, ‘I want 2 Quarter Pounders with Cheese, 2 Filet-O-Fish, a large fries, a large coke, an apple pie, and a vanilla milkshake.’ At first, I told him he couldn’t order all that food, because I thought he was pulling my leg. It wasn’t about the money, you understand. No nine year old eats that much. But he told me he was serious, so I ordered the food for him. And he ate it all! I’ve never seen something so incredible.”

That is my legacy. I am the Inhuman Eating Machine."
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An illustrated guide to Republican scandals.

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Aristotle.... Descartes..... Neitchze.... I've read 'em all regarding their philosophies on 'god'.

Thank 'god'... FINALLY... a voice on this issue that can impart more powerful knowledge to me than the three philosophers above..... I've been waiting for you Mike Seaver.... I mean, Kirk.

Kirk Cameron proves that God exists. - By Troy Patterson - Slate Magazine:

"In Cameron's introductory remarks at the debate—which can be seen at something like its full and numbing length at abcnews.go.com—he coolly claimed that 'the existence of God can be proven 100 percent, absolutely without the use of faith.' First, I grew excited at this promise, then began to wonder why no theologian, philosopher, or sitcom star in recorded history had done it before—Thomas Aquinas, Immanuel Kant, Tina Yothers, whoever—and realized I was in for a letdown. Comfort's cadences were not even those of a preacher but of an infomercial host, and the God Squad had but three arguments on behalf of the big guy: All things have makers; the human conscience is evidence of a higher moral power; if you read the Gospel, then Christ will be revealed to you. For reasons too stupid to type, this was not an airtight case, and the atheists made quick work of it in tones of juvenile sarcasm."


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Monday, May 14, 2007

Too Little Time on My Hands

*Sigh*... Alright, the night 2 DBT TDU in San Francisco's Great American Music Hall post ain't ready yet. 12 hour work days, 6 days a week with the one day off consumed by grading papers has left scant time for me to organize the post into something that resembles coherence.

The pictures are edited and uploaded... the verbiage for the review is there.... the funny quotes from on and off stage are there... I just need a couple of more days to edit. After today things settle down considerably for me and I should have it ready by Wednesday of this week.

It'll be worth the wait, I promise. I've got some really good pictures of the band, IMO.

In the mean time.....

Cheers from Shonna and Cooley:







Blues Singer's Woman Permitted To Tell Her Side:

"CLARKSDALE, MS–Ida Mae Dobbs, longtime woman of Willie 'Skipbone' Jackson, called a press conference Tuesday to respond to charges levied against her by the legendary Delta blues singer.

'Despite what Mr. Jackson would have you believe, I am not an evil-hearted woman who will not let him be,' Dobbs told reporters. 'I repeat: I am not an evil-hearted woman who will not let him be. To the contrary, my lovin' is so sweet, it tastes just like the apple off the tree.'"
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What are these people talking about?

"What else can you do in a small town?" Fenske said.

"After a few beers, you can't really tell the difference," Joubert said.

Deez Nutz

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If I had a kid and they were in the class, I wouldn't be suing I'd be beating some ass. Somebody would take an ass whuppin for this one.

Haven't we had enough wolf crying over the past 6 years?

Seriously... ass whuppin.

Teachers Stage Fake Gun Attack on Kids:

"Staff members of an elementary school staged a fictitious gun attack on students during a class trip, telling them it was not a drill as the children cried and hid under tables.


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Friday, May 11, 2007

DBT TDU - Great American Music Hall - SF - Night 1

The review and night 2 pictures will be up on Monday.

The review preview: Transcendence, tatters, Helen Keller, handboning, Idols, loafers, purty shirts, drankin', San Francisco Values, Christmas trees onstage, how abso-fucking-lutely excited I am for this 'new' band and the musical future in store for us fans..... plus much, much more.

In the meantime, here is the night 1 setlist from Monday, May 7, 2007 at the beautiful and historic Great American Music Hall followed by pictures from the first night. (setlist supplied by "Elvis" on the Nine Bullets Board).

Bulldozers
Ghost To Most
Heathens
9 Bullets
Vegas
Scene Dies
Bob
Daddy Needs a Drink
2 Daughters
Panties
Tails Facing Up
Annette
One Of These Days
Livin Bubba
Sinkhole
Pin Hits the Shell
People on the Moon
Zip City
George Jones
Gravity
World of Hurt
Buttholeville - State Trooper - Buttholeville









Mr. Josh tellin' folks to be quite




I'm tellin', Shonna!


















Neff can play the fuck out of a guitar, y'all.
































I'm tellin' on your too, Neff!


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