Clinton Got a Blowjob

Truly American. Truth to power using music and snark as the medium. And you'll be humming the chorus all day long. "Clinton got a blowjob". Quite uplifting, oddly.



Hat tip to Tenn Guerilla Women... and a hat tip to those that TGW hat tipped.

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Let's discuss this Kerry nonsense for a moment. I wasn't going to write about it because I believe it is such a non issue. What he said doesn't even come close to what his prepared remarks were:

“Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush.”

Kerry flubbed his speech and it came out sounding like shit. Doesn't change the fact that 104 soldiers were killed in this quagmire in Iraq last month. and, AND I haven't seen Shrub apologize for his "Where's the WMD" jokes in 2004.

But, of course, the MSM loves a non issue because then they don't have to do any real fucking work. I can't stand those guys. Even The Daily Show sorta missed the mark on the whole Kerry thing last night. Sometimes I feel that TDS has to occassionally skewer the good guys to satisfy some latent guilt of 'balance'.

Anyway, yesterday Digby shows how it works in these situations:

Hullabaloo:

If you are watching the wall-to-wall Kerry-hates-the-troops coverage today on the cablers you can see perfectly how the patented GOP sanctimonious 'demand for an apology' works.

* First, you have to be a phony hypocritical Republican. Democrats can never pull this off.
* Second, you have to choose a comment that isn't particularly heinous or is vaguely worded. You want the comment to not be particularly bad, for reasons that become obvious when you get to the endgame.......

And everybody needs to stop being pussy's about it. Kerry shouldn't of apologized for shit. Quit being scared of Rove.....

THE NEWS BLOG:

"Jesus, so many people are so nervous about what John Kerry said, like he's lying.

John Kerry is telling the truth and everyone knows it. Rich kids do not join the military, college bound kids don't join the military, only the poor and those who can't get scholarships do. Acting like he was lying or insulting people is just bullshit.

Besides, his reply got far more play than the orignial statement......."

His first reply was perfect. But, of course, he bowed to the finger wagging. Sigh.

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Remember this? Remember how they boogity-boogitied this up and thumped their chests like they'd caught bin Laden himself and how it proved their War on Terra was working and how you still needed to be scared shitless because some serious threats are still out their and how you can't take any more liquids on airplanes. The reason that frat boys, when travelling by air, can't spike their hair up 'cause they won't let them have any gel. No gel for frat boys, people! WTF, man wft.

Yeah, well, not so much:

UK 'air plot:' Brothers released:

"LONDON, England (CNN) -- Two brothers charged in an alleged plot to blow up U.S.-bound airliners have been released after a British court ruled there was insufficient evidence to warrant a trial.

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Pile on. Side note: Andrew Sullivan (the putz that he is) said on CNN yesterday that this is no longer an election. It's an intervention.

More Republicans agree.

An Administration Ally Goes Off-Message:

"'I think we have an administration today that is dysfunctional,' Perle said. 'And if it can't get itself together to organize a serious program for finding nuclear material on its way to the United States, then it ought to be replaced by an administration that can.'"

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"Jackie and Dunlap try to figure out how many babies we need to kill to make Michael J. Fox healthy again".

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I love it when them scientist justify the drankin'

Wine extract keeps mice fat and healthy:

"WASHINGTON - Huge amounts of a red wine extract seemed to help obese mice eat a high-fat diet and still live a long and healthy life, suggests a new study that some experts are calling 'landmark' research."

Too Little Sex, Too Much Jesus, Too Many Krystal Burgers

Some Problems

Here's just a couple of articles (there are and will be many more) detailing the "problems" (that only seem to affect Democratic candidates) with e-voting that are cropping up this election cycle. Educate yourself on your local voting procedures and take it upon yourself to educate your parents, grandparents, or any one who might not have any experience around a computer.

Really, though, the smart thing to do is to vote absentee or ask for a provisional ballot at the booths. Try to stay away from the e-voting machines at all costs.

Florida ballot terminals favor Republicans

Texas Voting Problems

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WTF, man, WTF. Isn't even illegal.

Salon: Money trails lead to Bush judges:

"An investigation has revealed that two dozen federal judges contributed thousands of dollars to Republicans who 'helped place them on the bench,' Salon is reporting."

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Of all the stupid shit the Republicans pull, this is got to be in the top 5. Of course, it isn't stupid to them because one of their croonies is making money off this somehow, but, my god.

What is their problem with sex? What repressive gene do they house that makes them detest sex so? You can't stop a teenager from having sex. That shit is hard wired into the system. Once the teenager figures out how to get sex and moves on to his/her twenties there's no way to stop them from having sex again 'cause they done figured out how to get it.

Another example of pissed away tax dollars

Abstinence message goes beyond teens:

"The federal government's 'no sex without marriage' message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007.

The government says the change is a clarification. But critics say it's a clear signal of a more directed policy targeting the sexual behavior of adults.

'They've stepped over the line of common sense,' said James Wagoner, president of Advocates for Youth, a Washington, D.C.-based non-profit that supports sex education. 'To be preaching abstinence when 90% of people are having sex is in essence to lose touch with reality. It's an ideological campaign. It has nothing to do with public health.'

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Some Solutions

Again, educate your ass on voting locally:

The Paper Trail Landscape:

"So, the media finally woke up and discovered just weeks before an election what election reform activists have been saying for years: our election system is broken.

It seem you can't open a newspaper or check the news online lately without a story about the vulnerability of electronic voting. Perhaps the press could have participated in the debate, oh, two years ago, when public pressure would have helped to remedy the problem? You know, instead of a week before the election. "

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Don't take any shit off anybody and hit back really, really hard. Kerry's figured out what he should of done in 2004 with those lying Swiftboat motherfuckers:

Kerry lashes out after GOP furor over comments:

'I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq,' rails Kerry, in the statement. 'It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.'"

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"You better know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run".

Kenny Rogers has a better foreign policy message than the Neocons.

How to cut and run:

"THE UNITED STATES upset the regional balance in the Middle East when it invaded Iraq. Restoring it requires bold initiatives, but 'cutting and running' must precede them all. Only a complete withdrawal of all U.S. troops — within six months and with no preconditions — can break the paralysis that now enfeebles our diplomacy. And the greatest obstacles to cutting and running are the psychological inhibitions of our leaders and the public.

Our leaders do not act because their reputations are at stake. The public does not force them to act because it is blinded by the president's conjured set of illusions: that we are reducing terrorism by fighting in Iraq; creating democracy there; preventing the spread of nuclear weapons; making Israel more secure; not allowing our fallen soldiers to have died in vain; and others."

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Other Shite

There is not an American alive that this doesn't affect. Happy trails, Bob. Happy trails.

Bob Barker Retiring After 50 Years on TV:

"He said he'd take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: 'I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don't want to be just another beautiful body.'"

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So this Sunday, I caught a World Eating Championship that was held in Chattanooga, Tenn. The food, Krystal Burgers. If you are from the South, you know what I'm talking about. If you're a Yankee then I'd relate it to White Castle. If you from the West then you probably moved there from the South or the North so you still know what I'm talking about.

The Krystal Burger has been a 2 a.m. alcohol soaking-up staple for me on many an occasion when I lived in the South. I was partial to what they called the Chili-cheese Pup. I think I could eat about twentie of them right now.

Twentie Krystals wouldn't have even gotten me in the competition. All the big hitters were there. Here's Krystal's website on the competition

Krystal Square Off

Here is the IFOCE's press release on the winner. You might know Kobayashi from the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. He holds many records including 20lbs of rice balls. Crazy.

Kobayashi ate 97 Krystals in 8 minutes.

International Federation of Competitive Eating - IFOCE:

"Kobayashi with 97 Krystals
10/28/2006

Takeru Kobayashi raised the bar of athletic greatness yet again today, devouring 97 Krystals in 8 minutes in what was arguably the most impressive competitive eating feat of all time. In doing so, Kobayashi defended his title in the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship, which he has held since its inception in 2004.

Joey Chestnut once again challenged Kobayashi until the final seconds, eating 91 Krystals. Patrick Bertoletti finished third with 76. The totals were as follows:

Takeru Kobayashi: 97
Joey Chestnut: 91
Pat Bertoletti: 76
Bob Shoudt: 65
Chip Simpson: 55
Tim Janus: 55
Sonya Thomas: 53
Rich LeFevre: 52
Arturo Rios: 44
Crazy Legs Conti: 42
Seaver Miller: 40
Dale Boone: 38
Justin Mih: 36"

Check out the IFOCE Records . If you can eat it, then someone has eaten a lot of it in a short period of time.

Dick Shreddin' - Purgin' 'Tube

Republicans

Let's see.... 7 days away from a mid-term election that is trending towards the Democrats taking back the House and making a race out of the Senate.... A massive shredder is seen pulling up to VP Dick Cheney's house..... hmmmmmm.

Shredding all that evidence is hard work. Fucker:

Shreddin' With Dick

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Even though it was said with tongue firmly planted in cheek, this might be the sanest thing a Republican has said in a long time.

This material killed when he tested it out at the Punchline during amateur night:

GOP candidate wants 'compulsory' gay marriage:

"Finger entered a post at The Hill's 'Congress Blog' in which he writes, '...I was recently asked my opinion on the subject of gay marriage. I think it should be not only legal but compulsory.

'I'd like to see those guys get up each morning and apologize just like us straight married guys do. Give us something in common.'"

Democrats

A reason to vote for a Democrat come next Tuesday. Kick those motherfucking lobbyist out of D.C., Nancy. You... go.... girl... with your San Francisco values:

Lobbyists Won't Like What Pelosi Has in Mind:

"Odds are that lobbying in the House of Representatives is about to get harder."

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Feckin' great. We're now outsourcing our past Vice Presidents.

Is there any job the Republicans won't send to another country? High Tech jobs, call-center jobs, torturing jobs, now Vice Presidents?!

Gore to advise British on global warming:

"LONDON - Unchecked global warming will devastate the world economy on the scale of the world wars and the Great Depression, a major British report said Monday.

British Treasury chief Gordon Brown, who commissioned the report, said former Vice President Al Gore, who has dedicated much time to warning of the effects of global warming, would advise the British government on climate change.

Corporate Fuckers

Everybody was cool with YouTube when it was a part of a corporate behemoth. Now that it is, everybody is pulling their stuff off.

At least TDS and TCR are now being presented in full the next day they air on the Comedy Central website. You'll need to allow a popup for their video viewer.

And The YouTube Purge Begins, Starting With Comedy Central:

"The New York Times reports today that, in prepartion for the giant Google takeover (maybe you heard about it?), YouTube has started purging clips. This time, though, it's clips we actually care about: The beloved Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert clips that whip around the internet on blogs and rack up thousands of views daily. The Times reports that Comedy Central finally got around to sending YouTube a cease and desist letter (the kind that NBC got used to sending after 'Lazy Sunday' broke)."

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Walmart sucks.... in so many ways. Not good for America.

NYO - Nicholas Von Hoffman:

"Maybe people are so used to learning disturbing things about Wal-Mart that the latest news from America’s largest and most frightening corporation didn’t cause much of a ripple. There was a dearth of denunciation after The New York Times published a well-reported piece on Wal-Mart’s decision to put 40 percent of its workers on part-time and place a ceiling on what they can earn.

In addition, the giant retail chain is ordering its workers to be available for duty anytime, day or night, at its nearly 2,000 24-hour-a-day stores. The company wants to have people on tap for the evenings and weekends, when shopping is heaviest, but in the interest of complete manpower flexibility doesn’t want to provide its employees with a set work schedule. They are to be available whenever the phone rings. Since Wal-Mart has more than a million and a quarter workers, what it does has ramifications.

The havoc this must cause in families with children needs no elaboration. How do you arrange for childcare or after-school supervision if you must wait to be told when you’re going to be working? This is not a problem that Sam Walton’s five heirs are likely to face. One is safe in assuming that they can get a baby-sitter on short notice since, even after being decimated by the death tax, they have managed to salvage $75 billion for their very own, according to Forbes magazine’s latest listing of the 400 wealthiest Americans."

Jeff Sessions hates babies and black Jeebuses

Senator Jeff (Jimmy) Sessions (R-AL) hates babies. He wants to prevent babies from being created and he wants Alabama to be the baby prevention capitol of the world. His pro-death, anti-baby position will allow Alabamians to earn silver pieces for their production of baby batter blocking devices but will also, most assuredly, earn those same Alabamians a special place in Hell. It is hard to spend those silver pieces when they keep melting in your hand.

Sessions is quoted as saying, "They only fertilizin' gonna be happenin' 'round he-ah is when the cow shit hits the ground. Now y'all excuse me, I've got the blood of twenty white babies waitin' on me for lunch." (Sessions may or may not of said these actual words. We just can't prove that he didn't).

....Damn, it's a little too easy to write fecal slinging, made-up commentary like a Republican. I gotta go take another bath, now.

Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Condom King:

"But Senator Jeff Sessions, Republican of Alabama, has quietly pressed to maintain the unqualified priority for American-made condoms and is likely to prevail if the past is any guide."

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Cool! AAW joined this campaign last week. Check out the post.

"You turn me out, you turn me on, you turned me loose
Then you turn me wrong.

You dropped a (Google) bomb on me, baby...."

The Gap Band Rocks

A New Campaign Tactic: Manipulating Google Data - New York Times:

Fifty or so other Republican candidates have also been made targets in a sophisticated “Google bombing” campaign intended to game the search engine’s ranking algorithms. By flooding the Web with references to the candidates and repeatedly cross-linking to specific articles and sites on the Web, it is possible to take advantage of Google’s formula and force those articles to the top of the list of search results.

The project was originally aimed at 70 Republican candidates but was scaled back to roughly 50 because Chris Bowers, who conceived it, thought some of the negative articles too partisan.

The articles to be used “had to come from news sources that would be widely trusted in the given district,” said Mr. Bowers, a contributor at MyDD.com (Direct Democracy), a liberal group blog. “We wanted actual news reports so it would be clear that we weren’t making anything up.”

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This sucks ass. I'm not naive.... In the back of my mind I knew this shit was happening all along.... It still pisses me off. I guess the only answer is to lie on every form you fill out for anything. Annual income: 2 Billion Dollars!

California shoppers, Schwarzenegger is watching you:

"LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Gin or vodka? Ford or BMW? Perrier or Fiji water? Does the car you buy or what's in your fridge say anything about how you'll vote?

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign thinks so.

Employing technology honed in President Bush's 2004 victory, the Republican governor's re-election team has created a vast computer storehouse of data on personal buying habits and voter records to identify likely supporters. Campaign officials say the operation is the largest of its kind in any state, at any time.

Some strategists believe consumer information can reveal a voter's politics even better than a party label can.

'It's not where they live, it's how they live,' said Josh Ginsberg, the Schwarzenegger campaign's deputy political director."

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Peace Takes Courage has a new short put together concerning the troops. Check it out:

Peace Takes Courage

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Of course Jesus was black. Ain't no white person got enough coordination to walk on water.

Seriously, though, it kills me to see Jeebus represented as a fair skinned, blue eyed white man. How many fair skinned, blued eyed white men do you think lived in the Middle East 2000 years ago?

Movie News- New Film's Black Jesus Stirs Controversy:

"It is the first representation in the history of American cinema of Jesus as a black man.

'It's very important because (the film) is going to provide an image of Jesus for African-Americans that is no longer under the control of whites,' says Stephenson Humphries-Brooks, an associate professor of religious studies at New York's Hamilton College and author of 'Cinematic Savior: Hollywood's Making of the American Christ.'

DBT Week in Review - 10/27

DBT News

Quick update: Happy Birthday, Jayne Clamp!

Ms. Jenn tips off to an upcoming well deserved DBT break next year:

Nine Bullets:

"Just so y'all know, I think it would behoove you all to get to these shows. I have a feeling this may be the last chance to see DBT in Athens for a LONG time - after NYE, it's possible that DBT will be taking an extended hiatus, by far the most extensive time off this band has taken in 10 years. They need it, so don't begrudge them the time off, but DO go see them. THIS ISN'T a breakup rumor starter or anything so don't get your panties in a wad, just get to the nearest rock show.

-j"

God, I love that term: "Panties in a wad". It says so much so well.

Mike from the Yahoo Group spotted this great Patterson interview.

Nashville Scene - Q&A: Patterson Hood of The Drive-By Truckers:

"PH: We’ll be finishing this tour on Halloween and we’ll be doing some one-offs and some weekend stuff from time to time, but I’m not planning on the band touring, maybe even for all next year. Besides doing some one-offs to keep the lights on, I’d like to keep it off the road. We’re gonna make another record. I’m gonna put out my solo record, and Jason’s gonna put his record out and there is some outside production stuff I really want to find some time to do. And I want to spent some time with my family, spend some time enjoying life a little bit. It’s been a really hard year. We’ve been on the road since March almost non-stop, and I’ve got a very little daughter at home that I’m spending way too much time away from—and my wife—so I’m going to try and rectify that."

Let's roll with the Patterson action. Here's a YouTube of Patterson playing an acoustic version of "18". Eeet's berry niiiice (My pitiful impression of Borat):



So what's Jason up to? Kudzu Guillotine fills us in on Nine Bullets:

From Flagpole.com:

Ask For It By Name:

Drive-By Truckers guitarist Jason Isbell has now joined the ranks of Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page, Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong and Aerosmith’s Joe Perry. How so? Because folks can now purchase a genuine Jason Isbell signature guitar courtesy of manufacturer First Act. Dubbed 'The Jason Isbell Custom Delgada,' the guitar sure looks comfortable. I haven’t had the chance to play one yet, but Isbell debuted it during the Truckers' appearance on the 'Late Night With Conan O’Brien' show and loved it, so I’ll take that as gospel. Take a gander over at http://www.firstact.com."

Other Music News

Seems to be a real push to make the Shoals the "Hit making capitol of the world" again. Good! Finally!!

FAME Records sponsoring two nights of music:

"FAME Records is sponsoring two nights of music with the intention of putting Muscle Shoals music back on the map.

Rodney Hall, president of FAME Music Publishing, said the shows will be attended by executives with EMI, the world's largest independent music company, creators' rights organization BMI, Anderson Music Merchandising and others.

FAME Records recently announced a partnership with EMI, which will re-release past FAME recordings as well as new artists signed to the FAME label."

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Dammit Curt, I swear son I think it's time you came around. Havin' money you can't spend, ain't what bein' deads about.

Cobain bumps off Elvis as top-earning dead celeb:

"NEW YORK (Reuters) - Rock 'n' roll legend Elvis Presley ceded his crown to Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain on Forbes.com's list as the top-earning dead celebrity.

The list, published on Tuesday, said grunge rocker Cobain earned $50 million between October 2005 and October 2006. Presley wound up in the No. 2 slot with $42 million, down from last year's $45 million."

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Love the Clash. London Calling always makes me want to rebel.

Clash honored at Rock Hall - Yahoo! News:

"CLEVELAND - Armed with guitars, amps and attitude, they rocked the casbah, fought the law and hijacked a train in vain.

The Clash were more than a four-piece band. They were rock 'n' roll revolutionaries.

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"I've been to Georgia on a fast train honey.... Ain't no need in y'all treatin' me this way".

Read the last line. What's his old ass doing wrasslin'?

Billy Joe Shaver Ties the Knot Again:

"Billy Joe Shaver has tied the knot — again.

Shaver, who wrote 'Georgia on a Fast Train' and 'I'm Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But I'm Gonna Be a Diamond Someday),' married Wanda Lynn Canady in Las Vegas on Friday, according to a statement from Compadre Records, his Houston-based independent label.

Billy Gibbons, the bearded frontman for ZZ Top, presided over the ceremony. It was Shaver's second marriage to Canady, said Compadre spokesman Logan Rogers. The first marriage was annulled.

The 67-year-old country singer was married three times to his wife Brenda, who died in 1999. Their first two marriages ended in divorce.

Shortly after the latest wedding, Shaver cracked a vertebra while wrestling with a friend, Rogers told The Associated Press on Tuesday. He was expected to recover."

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Finally.... This will shock many of you but.... I can't even comment on it. It's too painful. What next, they'll find out that Curt Cobain injected herion into his veins.... Oh, wait....

Snoop Dogg arrested at SoCal airport:

"BURBANK, Calif. - Snoop Dogg was arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession, police said."

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Loretta Nall Over the Place

Politics

Oh, boy, if I lived in Alabama I'd be voting/writing in Loretta's name come November. Check out her sites here and here. Read the story about when she was busted for pot. It is tres awesome. She doesn't take any shit, that is fer sure. Platform: Legalize the Weed. Not comply with the Patriot Act. My kinda girl.

Ala. Hopeful Puts Forth Unique Platform:

"MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) - Loretta Nall, the Libertarian Party's write-in candidate for governor of Alabama, is campaigning on her cleavage and hoping that voters will eventually focus on her platform.

She's no joke, either. She REALLY knows her shit. Check her out on Olberman:

Let stay with the YouTubes on the internets found on the google. Here is Pumpkinhead speaking some rare truth on the race baiting occuring in Tennessee by the Rethugs and the general racist tendency of the Rethugs. Hey, I'm not saying that all Republicans are racist.... but I am saying that all racists are Republicans.

Somebody must be feeling a change in government coming around the bend.



Nothing to see here folks. Just us government types digging around in your trash.

FBI director wants ISPs to track users:

"FBI Director Robert Mueller on Tuesday called on Internet service providers to record their customers' online activities, a move that anticipates a fierce debate over privacy and law enforcement in Washington next year."

YouTubers

Mesmerizing YouTube video of people on YouTube. If you've got 10 minutes of nothing today, this is a good way to fill it. Angst ridden teens, booty shaking, unsuspecting old folks, suspecting old folks.... this one has it all.

The zenith of YouTube's ascent has been reached. I think that's why I've been using them so much of late.

Blinded me with science

Oh, the possibilities. An entirely new version of Porky's could be written.

Scientists Create Cloak of Partial Invisibility:

"Scientists have created a cloaking device that can reroute certain wavelengths of light, forcing them around objects like water flowing around boulders in a stream. To creatures or machines that see only in microwave light, the cloaked object would appear nearly invisible."

They found Jesus.

New images may give clues on universe's origins:

"JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - The newly discovered collision of two galaxies millions of years ago, which sparked rings of fire that are still expanding, may offer new clues on the origins of the universe, astronomers said on Wednesday.

Health

Lack of sleep puts on the pounds, then, aye?

Why staying up makes you fat:

"An analysis of recent data suggests sleep deficits are making people fat. In studies, 1) sleep shortage in babies and toddlers correlated with obesity at age 7, 2) sleep shortage in adults correlated with high levels of a hormone that tells the brain to eat, and 3) kids who woke up tired got less exercise, which in turn would have helped them sleep. Hypothesis: Sleep shortage distorts your body's regulation of appetite and energy use, thereby promoting obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Researchers' advice:"

I'm sure it has nothing to do with this:

Fried Coke a big hit at US state fairs:

"CHICAGO (AFP) - Fried Coke has become the latest artery-clogging hit at US state fairs, local media reports.

The gooey Coke-battered nuggets topped with cola syrup won the 'most creative' title at the Texas state fair in Dallas last month. Since then, the deep-fried phenomenon has spread to North Carolina and Arizona.

Better start eating some purple 'maters!

'Definitely different': Tomatoes the color of blueberries:

"SALEM, Oregon (AP) -- Oregon State University researchers are fine-tuning a purple tomato -- a new blend of colors and nutrients. The skin is as dark as an eggplant. But it doesn't just look cool -- it could be better for you.

The novel pigment contains the same phytochemical found in blueberries that is thought to reduce the risk of cancer and heart disease. Six years in the making, the purple hybrid could hit salad plates in two years."

One Sick Porn Mother "Staying The Course"

"It wasn't me"

Liar, liar pants on fire!

Remember the Eddie Murphy routine in Raw where his woman confronts him about sleeping with another woman. Eddie's response was "It wasn't me". His woman tells him that she saw him coming out of the other girl's house. Eddie's response, "It wasn't me".

This is Bush's version. I guess he's hoping we conclude what Eddie's woman did, "Maybe it wasn't you...".

Not gonna happen this time, Bushie:

Why do Republican's hate the troops so?

The IAVA is non-partisan.... we'll they were until they did some non-partisan research that shows the Dems truly support the troops compared to the Rethugs. Now the IAVA can look forward to Hannidate, Mush Limpballs, Ann Coultergiest (wait, we haven't heard much from her lately. They must have muzzled her and left her in the basement til post elections) smearing their particular brand of feces all over the organization.

IAVA Support-The-Troops Rankings for Senate:

"As I said in my piece today 'Vets Group Proves GOP Does Not Support Troops,' careful scrutiny by the Iraq & Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) shows that by a ludicrous margin, it is Senate Democrats, not Republicans, who truly support active troops, Veterans and military families.

Here's the full Senate rankings, with the letter grade assigned by IAVA:"

Pat Tillman's Brother Speaks

I read a great article on Pat Tillman recently. My god, did the Bush administration use and abuse his death. Pat was an amazing, brilliant, balls-the-size-of-California individual who knew the war in Iraq was illegal but gave up a bazillion dollars in the NFL to fight in Afghanistan and Iraq. If you've never read anything on the man, do so:

After Pat’s Birthday:

"It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we get out. "

The Simpson's Bush Bash

You've got to love that Matt Groening has so much financial pull at FOX that he can do pretty much what he wants. Even something like this:

Fresh Intelligence : Radar Online:

"Anyone who thinks Hollywood is run by a liberal cabal won't change his mind after watching The Simpsons' annual Halloween special. The episode, which airs Nov. 5, concludes with an Iraq war satire that may rank as the most pointed political statement the show has ever made. In the segment, aliens invade Springfield to prevent mankind from obtaining 'weapons of mass disintegration,' but their mission, called 'Operation Enduring Occupation,' turns into a quagmire. 'You said we would be greeted as liberators!' accuses one alien.

'We were looking for an ending to the episode, and it just kind of suggested itself,' says Simpsons executive producer Al Jean. 'I'd like to take credit for being adventuresome, but I think we're expressing a viewpoint 69 percent of the country agrees with.'"

CA. Gov Candidate bits the Bust

Who, praytell, am I suppose to vote for now? It's understandable, though. Her mom is sick. Apparently her mom suffers from gravity sickness. "Between the champange, handjobs and the kissin' ass by everyone involved". Just when you thought the story couldn't get any better:

Porn star gives up candidacy to be with sick mom:

"LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Porn star Mary Carey said Monday she was dropping out of the California governor's race to be with her ailing mother, who has been hospitalized in Florida since jumping off a four-story building last month.

Google Bombing the Election

For more on what this is go here or here.

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl

--AZ-01: Rick Renzi

--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth

--CA-04: John Doolittle

--CA-11: Richard Pombo

--CA-50: Brian Bilbray

--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave

--CO-05: Doug Lamborn

--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell

--CT-04: Christopher Shays

--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan

--FL-16: Joe Negron

--FL-22: Clay Shaw

--ID-01: Bill Sali

--IL-06: Peter Roskam

--IL-10: Mark Kirk

--IL-14: Dennis Hastert

--IN-02: Chris Chocola

--IN-08: John Hostettler

--IA-01: Mike Whalen

--KS-02: Jim Ryun

--KY-03: Anne Northup

--KY-04: Geoff Davis

--MD-Sen: Michael Steele

--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht

--MN-06: Michele Bachmann

--MO-Sen: Jim Talent

--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns

--NV-03: Jon Porter

--NH-02: Charlie Bass

--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson

--NM-01: Heather Wilson

--NY-03: Peter King

--NY-20: John Sweeney

--NY-26: Tom Reynolds

--NY-29: Randy Kuhl

--NC-08: Robin Hayes

--NC-11: Charles Taylor

--OH-01: Steve Chabot

--OH-02: Jean Schmidt

--OH-15: Deborah Pryce

--OH-18: Joy Padgett

--PA-04: Melissa Hart

--PA-07: Curt Weldon

--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick

--PA-10: Don Sherwood

--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee

--TN-Sen: Bob Corker

--VA-Sen: George Allen

--VA-10: Frank Wolf

--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick

--WA-08: Dave Reichert

Must See Olberman Commentaries

First....... Blogger Sucks. If you need to search a term on the web I encourage you to use Yahoo. Far superior to Google. Google has all the branding but a shitty product and everything they touch turns to shit.... AND they have recently become large donors to the GOP. Fuck Google and Fuck Google's Blogger.

Today was going to be all Oblerman because he's been doing a little something called 'journalism' of late. A lot of you won't know this term... you may not even be able to comprehend the letters of the word in their order. I realize it is an alien concept. Most of you only know 'fair and balanced'. But, journalism, as it is called, in the past, has been a successful way to safeguard the public from governments that want to get naughty.

Before we get to Olberman, I want you to take a look at why you should vote for the Democrats.... any Democrat.... every Democrat come this November. I present to you Michael J. Fox:



Pretty powerfull, huh? Let's see what the 'fair and balanced' folks have to say about Michael J. Fox, shall we?

"'I stated when I saw the ad, I was commenting to you about it, that he was either off the medication or he was acting. He is an actor, after all.'"

This is coming from some who sure knows his medication, boy howdy! Stephen Hawkins is just a lazy son-of-a-bitch ridin' around in that chair of his, huh, Rush?

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On to Olberman...

Watch his latest special comment here. The link takes you directly to a MOV. Give a second to load. So good, so powerful.

Olbermann news commentaries target Bush:

"NEW YORK - Keith Olbermann's tipping point came on a tarmac in Los Angeles six weeks ago. While waiting for his plane to take off he read an account of Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's speech before the American Legion equating Iraq War opponents to pre-World War II appeasers.

The next night, on Aug. 30, Olbermann ended his MSNBC 'Countdown' show with a blistering retort, questioning both the interpretation of history and Rumsfeld's very understanding of what it means to be an American.

It was the first of now five extraordinarily harsh anti-Bush commentaries that have made Olbermann the latest media point-person in the nation's political divide.

'As a critic of the administration, I will be damned if you can get away with calling me the equivalent of a Nazi appeaser,' Olbermann told The Associated Press. 'No one has the right to say that about any free-speaking American in this country.'"

Now, take a look at his comments on the Military Torture Act recently signed into law by Putz in Chief:

Tag! You're not it!

We are producing several generations of dimwitted (No Child Left Behind), obese, little pussies. No tag!? Outrageous! Why don't parents just package their children in bubble-wrap and arm them with a can of pepper spray, then never let them leave the house.

Oh, and I didn't have to wear no stinkin' helmet when I rode my bike as a kid. It taught me how to fall.... and how to survive a fall. Now look at me. I've got my own blog. Yeah.

Playing tag now a no-no at some US schools:

"WASHINGTON (AFP) - Two Massachusetts primary schools this week joined a growing list of US schools that have banned the age-old game of tag for fear that children may get hurt and their parents will sue.

Officials at McCarthy Elementary School in Framingham in the northeastern state, told local media that children have been ordered to invent a new no-contact version of the game for safety reasons."

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I almost posted this article alone today. I mean, really, how does one produce a snarky enough comment to compete with the 'Greatest Headline Ever'.

Dang, I want to hang out in Spain. Bet they play tag.... and don't have to wear helmets when they ride their bikes. It must of been a crazy night. I hear the bear pulled first, though. Got what he deserved. Can't hold his likker for shit, either.

Spanish king denies shooting drunk bear:

"MADRID, Spain - The king says it didn't happen. And the bear isn't around to talk about it anymore.

A spokeswoman for Spanish King Juan Carlos said Thursday that Russian reports the 68-year-old monarch brought down a tamed and inebriated bear during a visit in August were 'ridiculous.'

The palace confirmed the king, who is known to enjoy hunting, was in Russia at the time of the alleged shooting, but it says he didn't kill any bear, let alone one that was fed vodka-spiked honey.

'He neither hunted with (Russian President Vladimir) Putin nor killed a bear,' a spokeswoman for the palace told The Associated Press."

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'Screw you guys.... I'm goin' home'.

Can't you just see them in Texas frantically trying to revive his ass so they don't get gypped on some killin'.

Texas inmate kills self day of execution:

"LIVINGSTON, Texas - A death-row inmate slit his own throat with a makeshift knife early Thursday, committing suicide about 15 hours before he was scheduled to be executed, a prison official said."

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Hello! Evolution, people. The Croc Hunter was a test case although they've been thinking for years how to stop him from harassing them.

The stingrays have figured it out. "Go for the chest, boys, that's where they're weakest."

Stingray Leaps Into Boat, Stabs Man in Chest:

"LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Florida (Oct. 19) - A stingray jumped into the boat of an 81-year-old Florida man and stabbed him in the chest, leaving its long barb stuck in him, authorities said."