Sober One-legged Squirel Biker Aliens

Meanwhile...... SURGE!!!!!

Dozens killed in multiple suicide attacks in Iraq:

"BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Suicide bombings in a northern Iraqi town Tuesday targeted a religious minority and left at least 120 people dead and 150 wounded, according to police officials, who said there were three bombings in three locations. art.Iraq.Qahtaniya.gif The suicide bombers struck in at least three different places in the Yazidi town of Qahtaniya. Iraqi army officials, however, said there were four blasts that killed at least 175 and wounded 200."

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...And our pipes aren't even made out of lead.

Senior US official likens challenges facing America, Roman Republic:

Though I do have to take umbrage with his 'declining moral values' forced parallel. When tha Hell were Romans ever known for their high moral standard? I'm sayin' what constituted a 'decline' in their moral standards?

"'Throughout history, many great nations have also failed to survive,' Walker told an audience in Chicago last week. 'I should point out that the longest standing republic and the major superpower of its day no longer exists, and that's the Roman Republic.' He warned of “striking similarities” between the current crises facing America and the factors toppled Rome, including “declining moral values and political civility at home, an over-confident and over-extended military in foreign lands and fiscal irresponsibility by the central government.'

'In my view,' he added, 'it's time to learn from history and take steps to ensure the American Republic is the first to stand the test of time.' America's top government inspector didn't stop there. He also bemoaned US fiscal policy, underfunded healthcare, poor public schools, lack of retirement benefits, a worsening environment, Iraq, aging infrastructure and immigration policy. His remark about 'aging infrastructure' came just days before the Minneapolis bridge collapse"

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Damn, after that one I think I need a drink....

Ala. city considers end to alcohol sales:

D'OH!

Here's your declining moral values. It ain't right to deny a man a drank.

"ATHENS, Ala. - Voters have a chance on Tuesday to return this northern Alabama city to the days of Prohibition. A measure to end the sale of alcohol in Athens is up for a citywide vote, a rare instance where voters could overturn a previous vote to allow sales. Business interests are against repeal, but church leaders who helped organize the petition drive that got the measure on the ballot are asking members to pray and fast in support of a ban."

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Prohibition. 21st century style.

Scientist searches for anti-alcohol drug:

"OCATELLO, Idaho - Fred Risinger never gives his eastern Idaho bar patrons a last call — but then his customers are mice. Some are teetotalers who eschew the mouse-sized shots of alcohol they can obtain at any time simply by pressing a lever in their cage. Others Risinger describes as 'your wine with dinner mice.' And some are raging alcoholics, downing, in human terms, several fifths of liquor each day."

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Since Rome... I mean, the U.S. is headed towards a fall and I can't get a drink on the inside or outside, maybe I'll go hop on my bike and cruise my worries away....

Japanese biker fails to notice missing leg:

D'OH!

"TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) -- A Japanese biker failed to notice his leg had been severed below the knee when he hit a safety barrier, and rode on for 2 km (1.2 miles), leaving a friend to pick up the missing limb.

The 54-year-old office worker was out on his motorcycle with a group of friends in the city of Hamamatsu, west of Tokyo, on Monday, when he was unable to negotiate a curve in the road and bumped into the central barrier, the Mainichi Shimbun said. He felt excruciating pain, but did not notice that his right leg was missing until he stopped at the next junction, the paper quoted local police as saying. The man and his leg were taken to hospital, but the limb had been crushed in the collision, the paper said."

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Maybe I'll go fuck with that squirrel in the park then....

Calif. squirrels heat tails for defense:

D'OH!

"WASHINGTON - California ground squirrels have learned to intimidate rattlesnakes by heating their tails and shaking them aggressively. Because the snakes, which are ambush hunters, can sense infrared radiation from heat, the warming makes the tails more conspicuous to them — signaling that they have been discovered and that the squirrels may come and harass them, explained Aaron Rundus, lead author of a study in this week's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."

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Shit, then, I guess I'll go hide in Haiti till it all blows over....



D'oh-dammit.

It's gonna be a long day....

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