Suspicious Bagel

Again, thank jeebus for Matt Tiabbi. Our national discourse is flooded with these faux-Democratic 'moderate' pseudo-long-view, clueless-what-pragmatic-actually-means, status quo fluffers.

As long as they got there's, they'll spew any stupid shit imaginable in order to hold onto that shit.

Matt Bai's Post-Partisanship | Rolling Stone Politics | Taibblog | Matt Taibbi on Politics and the Economy:

"Bai is one of those guys -- there are hundreds of them in this business -- who poses as a wonky, Democrat-leaning 'centrist' pundit and then makes a career out of drubbing 'unrealistic' liberals and progressives with cartoonish Jane Fonda and Hugo Chavez caricatures. This career path is so well-worn in our business, it's like a Great Silk Road of pseudoleft punditry. First step: graduate Harvard or Columbia, buy some clothes at Urban Outfitters, shore up your socially liberal cred by marching in a gay rights rally or something, then get a job at some place like the American Prospect. Then once you're in, spend a few years writing wonky editorials gently chiding Jane Fonda liberals for failing to grasp the obvious wisdom of the WTC or whatever Bob Rubin/Pete Peterson Foundation deficit-reduction horseshit the Democratic Party chiefs happen to be pimping at the time. Once you've got that down, you just sit tight and wait for the New York Times or the Washington Post to call. It won't be long."

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If your fellow passengers are a bunch of terrified teabaggers, you might be an American.

Florida Professor Arrested for Having a "Suspicious" Bagel on a Plane | NBC Miami:

"A Florida professor was arrested and removed from a plane Monday after his fellow passengers alerted crew members they thought he had a suspicious package in the overhead compartment.

That 'suspicious package' turned out to be keys, a bagel with cream cheese and a hat.

Ognjen Milatovic, 35, was flying from Boston to Washington D.C. on US Airways when he was escorted off the plane for disorderly conduct following the incident.

Monday's incident is another example of other passengers essentially becoming the authority on terrorist activity on planes."

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Nothing to see here folks, but we should pre-emptively give bailouts to all chemical factories within a 1000 mile radius.

Dead Birds Fall From Sky AGAIN In Louisiana, 300 Miles From Arkansas Incident Days Earlier

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Since we have been discussing dicks today.....

Indiana Snow Penises Given Generous Local News Coverage (VIDEO)

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Heart ons and Mindlessness

Fredo has left the building.... or has he?

Maybe he doesn't recall?

Daily Kos: Gonzales Does Not Remember Resigning:

"Washington, Aug. 27 (crAP) -- Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, five minutes after having submitted his resignation to President George W. Bush, was asked by a passer-by whether the rumor was true that he had resigned. 'I have no memory of having submitted such a letter or of having any conversation with the President about anything at all,' Mr. Gonzales replied. The former Attorney General immediately returned to his office at the Department of Justice, though he could not remember what he was supposed to do there."

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Why does Rove leave one week and Fredo leave the next? Could it be a little something called oversight? Hmmm? Maybe a little check and a little balance? Hmm, hmmm?

Yeah, something is amiss.

Fired attorney: Rove, Gonzales resignations 'absolutely linked':

"Like President Bush's top political adviser, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned to avoid encroaching Congressional investigations, a fired federal prosecutor said Monday. During an appearance on CNN, former US Attorney David Iglesias said Gonzales's resignation is 'absolutely linked with Karl Rove leaving two weeks ago,' and speculated the two resigned 'for the same reason': Congressional investigators closing in on their suspected roles in the attorney-firing scandal. 'This is what happens when there is not check and balance' under a Republican-controlled Congress and White House 'and all of a sudden you have a new sheriff in town - so to speak - that wants answers to hard questions.'"

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What the hell is it with Republicans and anonymous, public-bathroom, gay sex prostitution?

Its like a dog with cat shit.

We should call it "Getting your Republican On".

GOP Senator Larry Craig arrested in 'bathroom incident':

"According to Roll Call (subscription required) Idaho GOP Senator Larry Craig was arrested in June in a Minnesota airport public bathroom during an investigation into 'lewd conduct' in the facility."

But he's not gay and it was all a big misunderstanding, right?

Here's what Craig said about Bill Clinton (Democrat who likes the ladies) back in the day.

Election Central | Talking Points Memo:

"MR. RUSSERT: Larry Craig, would you want the last word from the Senate be an acquittal of the president and no censure?
'
SEN. CRAIG: Well, I don't know where the Senate's going to be on that issue of an up or down vote on impeachment, but I will tell you that the Senate certainly can bring about a censure reslution and it's a slap on the wrist. It's a, 'Bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty boy.' The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy, a naughty boy. I'm going to speak out for the citizens of my state, who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy. The question issue now is simply this: Did he lie under oath? Did he perjure himself and did he obstruct justice? And that's where we're trying to go now in this truth-seeking process."

"Bad boy, Mr. Clinton"?!?

Craig is practically masturbating in front of pumpkin head... I mean Tim Russert.

Damn, repression and self hatred and living in a closet and the heights of hypocrisy will f a man up inside.

Pretty sweet bigoted voting record you got their Craig.

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Not that there's a damn thing wrong with it. Been doin' it for years and years and years.

Gay Unions Sanctioned in Medieval Europe:

"Civil unions between male couples existed around 600 years ago in medieval Europe, a historian now says.

Historical evidence, including legal documents and gravesites, can be interpreted as supporting the prevalence of homosexual relationships hundreds of years ago, said Allan Tulchin of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania. If accurate, the results indicate socially sanctioned same-sex unions are nothing new, nor were they taboo in the past. “Western family structures have been much more varied than many people today seem to realize,' Tulchin writes in the September issue of the Journal of Modern History. 'And Western legal systems have in the past made provisions for a variety of household structures.”"

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Jeeeeeeez.

Armed guard found asleep at nuke plant:

"WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. - A federal inspector found an armed guard asleep at a gate inside the Indian Point nuclear power plants but officials said Monday there was no security breach. ADVERTISEMENT The inspector spent two minutes trying to rouse the unnamed guard Sunday afternoon before the guard 'stood up and opened his eyes,' said Neil Sheehan, spokesman for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission."

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Ooooooy. Hearts and Minds, y'all.

Could it be any more apparent that the folks in charge have absolutely no freakin' clue.

US military regrets Afghan football 'insult':

"The US military in Afghanistan expressed regret Monday after footballs it distributed kicked off a storm of protest because they bore Koranic verses as part of the flag of Saudi Arabia. The US-led coalition on Friday dropped toys, including soccer balls, into the eastern province of Khost from a helicopter as part of a goodwill gesture aimed at winning over support from the local population. The balls showed the flags of several nations, including the Saudi standard. A few dozen people protested Friday near the provincial capital, also called Khost, saying it was insulting for texts from the Koran to be put on the ground and kicked. The resentment simmered on Friday. 'It's an insult to our religion,' said one man, named only Palawan, who was one of the protestors. 'They insult our religion and call it a gift,' another man, Gilani Sanizai, said. The coalition regretted causing any unhappiness, said a spokeswoman, Captain Vanessa Bowman. The distribution of the toys was part of a 'hearts and minds' campaign, she said."

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Gay Vegetables

AAW Correction:

Too good to be true. But an excellent idea for pay-for-view:

BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | From the editor's desktop:

A steady stream of people complaining about a rogue story doing the rounds on the web about a lion and midgets fighting. All in the worst possible taste and the instigator had placed it on a news template that looked exactly like a BBC News one."

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What the hell is up with all the gay pastors in Colorado?

Pastor resigns over homosexuality

Must be all the soy.

I like Kos' take on the soy bit of right-wing insanity:

"Did you hear? Soy makes you gay. Or that's what the wingnuts now say. That's why all Asians whose diet consists heavily of soy products (like tofu) are gay and their population is dying out. Like in China."

I've been saying this for years, but all these vegetables will kill you.... or make you gay:

Vegetables nearly as dangerous as under-cooked meat, study says:

Fresh raw vegetables like lettuce, spinach, tomatoes and green onions were responsible for the illness or deaths of nearly 19,000 people nationwide over a five-year period.

Vegetables are nearly as dangerous as under-cooked meat when it comes to transmitting deadly food illnesses like E. coli, salmonella and hepatitis, according to a study of federal outbreak records by Scripps."

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New homeland security buzz: Bomb-sniffing bees:

Burns- 'I suggest you leave immediatly'

Homer- 'Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shot bees at you?'"

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