Boat Loads in Palau

Y'all may remember my best bud from my very first posts on AAW (OK 2 of you may remember).

works in Palau. Survivor has been filmed there and the islands are one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. Incredibly beautiful.

Here's a picture of Shipper:

No, wait.... here's a picture of Shipper. He's the one giving a wet willy to my other buddy Rich:

Shipper previously blogged about his trip to China in which no reported national incidents occurred. (They like to keep things hush-hush in China)

Check out his previous post, Chinese Democracy.

sent me a new blog yesterday. Check it out and leave him a note in the comments.

Cool Ships in Palau

A blog by
David Shipper

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Lately we have been treated to a number of cool ships coming through Palau. Here are three that have just been here:

The USS John Paul Jones.

This rig cruised in a couple of days ago. We get some military ships here on R&R occasionally but rarely one with this firepower. It’s an Aegis Destroyer and it is BAD.

You know I thought these ships were supposed to destroy things and kill people. Boy was I wrong. On the tour we learned that they “prosecute submarines” with various torpedoes:

And at times they choose to employ a “harpoon solution.”

The crew of this ship was pretty cool too. I had a few beers with them and was talking to the guy in charge of all the armaments. Of course I asked the question on everyone’s mind

“If money were no object, how quickly could you ‘prosecute’ Koror?”

The answer? Pretty damn quick – a matter of hours. The interesting thing was that the guy said he would pull anchor and sail away from Palau a few miles and then launch tomahawks. Why sail away? As he said, “those puppies have a pretty serious blast radius.”

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The Octopus

This is Paul Allen’s ride. If you don’t know, he’s one of the founders of Microsoft, one of the richest people in the world, and a walking commercial for socialism. The Octopus is the 5^th biggest private yacht in the world. It has a basketball court, 3 helicopters, and a remote control submarine.

If I couldn’t be Paul Allen, I’d like to be on Paul Allen’s boat crew. He will just tell them: “Meet me in (insert name of a tropical paradise anywhere in the world).” They will sail there and hang out until he flies in for a few days, and then they are off again. But alas, I don’t have such a charmed life – I have to live full time in only one paradise.

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Earthrace Boat

Finally, I was surprised to see this cool rig the other day at one of the dive shop docks:

The Earthrace boat is trying to circumnavigate the globe faster than any other watercraft. Its design allows it to slice through the waves rather than going over them. But the coolest thing about this boat is that it is trying to break the record on Biodiesel fuel – proving that we can thrive without fossil fuels.

I say that I was surprised when the Earthrace boat showed up in Palau, because of the email we got from them. It went like this:

Earthrace Boat: We would like to stop by Palau on our trip around the world to promote alternative fuels. Please tell us how often container ships arrive in Palau from Singapore so that we can schedule our shipment of biodiesel to meet us there.

Palau: How about never. Does that work for you?

And then they showed up. Once it became clear that they could not get any biodiesel here, they had to go to Plan B: Instead of using Biodiesel, they would just fill ‘er up with . . . wait for it . . . Diesel! Hey, why not? Actually, diesel is more pure – it doesn’t have all that “bio” stuff in there.

Godspeed Little Doodle.

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Thanks,

Dave Shipper

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I'm Turning Japanese.....

... I really think so.... song by The Vapors.... and here's a hilarious tidbit I just learned about said song:

The Vapors:

"As for the song itself, there was a good deal of confusion at the time as to just what the hell it was all about. A rumor spread here in the US that it was about masturbation, and that the 'turning Japanese' was a reference to the facial expression made at the moment of climax."

No better way to start your Monday with a hot cup of Joe, some talk about masturbation and an international post by my good friend David Shipper.

You might remember Shipper from such previous posts as "Palau Trip" or "Chinese Democracy" and even the award winning "Sharks Scare Me".

Dave's back with another globe trekking adventure. This time.... Japan! Home of giant lizard/dinosaurs, owners of much of the land in the U.S. and mangled English.

Take it away, Dave:

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I spent some time in Japan recently. Japan ranks among the top of all the countries I’ve been to. It’s beautiful, the people are nice, girls are hot, and it’s chock full of history that makes the U.S. look like the infant that it is. Add to that the weird, kinky, quirks of the Japanese society and you’ve got the recipe for a cool country.

First, a quick Japanese lesson. R for L, B for V. For example, Cola is Cora. Television is Terebi. Diving is Daibing. Easy enough. Now you are fluent.

My first stop was Tokyo where I hung out with a few Japanese friends and ate some weird shit. Horsemeat sashimi anyone? How about the spinal cartilage of some small animal that you can’t identify? Umm um.

We went to the Tsukiji Fish Market early in the morning. It is the largest fish market in the world.

You see those little bulldozers picking up tuna? Stay the fuck out of their way ‘cause they don’t give a shit about your picture-takin’ tourist ass.

(...."they don’t give a shit about your picture-takin’ tourist ass..." When I'm slinging tuna in SF, I just happen to don't give a shit about Japanese picture-takin' asses. I'll run them over right quick. Is that irony, irony or just Alanis Morissette irony? Whichever, I do feel a bond.)

After the fish market, we went to a Sushi Bar right next door. For obvious reasons, it is renowned for the freshest sushi. There was a serious line out front, but we stuck it out and had some great grub.

I said Fugu Me!

But I must say, it is certainly more appealing to suck down raw sea urchin over a beer at 10 pm than to have one at 7am, before you’ve even had coffee.

Here’s what $120 gets you in Tokyo in the way of hotel rooms:

Fortunately, it has some amenities. For example:

Save time by taking a dump while taking a shower!!!!!!!!

I wrote an earlier post about a trip to China. For all of you Redstaters, there is a difference between the two. Here are two I noticed immediately:

In Japan, air is invisible.

(accompanying picture from China post):

In Japan, shopping is voluntary. .

This is a shop. If you choose, you can go inside. If not, you are not stalked mercilessly by hawkers until you want to kill.

(from China Post):

Alabama Ass Sirens: Chinese Democracy by David Shipper:

"Here’s the progression of myconversations with hawkers:

Hawker: Hallo, Hallo, you want fan? You want hat? You want map?
Me: Wo bu yao, xie xie ni. (I don’t want it, thank you)
Hawker: You want fan? Hat? Map?
Me: Wo bu yao, xie xie ni.

[repeat]

Second Day

Hawker: You want lighter? You want tour guide?
Me: BOO YAH!

Last week

Hawker: You want silk? You want water?
Me: No speaky English."

And one similarity.

In Japan:

In China:

Alabama Ass Sirens: Chinese Democracy:

"This Starbucks is within the walls of the “Forbidden City,” named so because it was forbidden to anyone that was not part of the Emperor’s court. Today it is forbidden to Dunkin Donuts."

Come on, are you surprised?

(though to be fair, China did just kick Starbucks out of the Forbidden City. Decided to go with Pete's.)

In Kyoto I went on a Geisha Lecture Tour. It was given by a Canadian guy who moved to Kyoto about 15 years ago. I was skeptical at first, but this guy is the real deal. He is married to a former geisha, owns a tea house, and speaks flawless Japanese.

Stupid 2 year old obsolete digital camera made me miss this shot of a geisha. Wait, I mean, “This photo captures the ephemeral nature of beauty.”

(Yeah, I bet it is hard to find a good camera in Japan.)

Geisha goin’ to get a Squishy:

Now for just a few pics of the place:

Takayama

Temple in Tokyo

Kyoto Samurai

Even simple plants get much respect in Japan:

I went to a historic government council office in Takayama. One of the rooms used to be used for torture. Of course that was hundreds of years ago -- no civilized country would engage in these types of activities today.

(They're called 'enhanced interrogation techniques', . Why oh, why do you side with the terrorist when the country you live in is part of the Coalition of the Willing TM?)

White House Notebook: Many Willing, But Few Are Able (washingtonpost.com)

There must have been shock in Baghdad and awe in Paris last week when the White House announced the news that Palau had joined the "coalition of the willing."
Palau, an island group of nearly 20,000 souls in the North Pacific, has much to contribute. It has some of the world's best scuba diving, delectable coconuts and tapioca. One thing Palau cannot contribute, however, is military support: It does not have a military.

Sayonara Bitches!

(Sayonara bitch, to you too . Thanks for the Asian getaway on this American Monday Morning!)

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Chinese Democracy

I've been begging my buddy David Shipper to do a post for AAW since I created the blog almost a year ago (One year anniversary post is coming August 22, so be on the look out). The very first posts on AAW were of my trip to see in Palau.

Dave and I grew up together in Florence, AL. We lived a couple of blocks away from each other and car pooled from 1st grade all the way through our senior year in high school. I was the first to get a car when we turned 16 and I use to do a little something called the "Gas Chamber" to every morning as we drove to school (more than likely The Beastie Boys, License to Ill was playing on the stereo. Cassettes, baby!). The "Gas Chamber" involved me releasing a powerfully noxious fart then holding the power locks and power windows so no relief could be found by my passenger, . Ahh, good times, good times. There use to be claw marks in the dash of my old Pontiac 6000 where struggled for oxygen. Still makes me laugh.

Anyway, recently took a trip to China and came back with a post for the ages. comments will be in the black font while any snarkiness I add will be in dark red and italicized.

Finally, finally, FINALLY, the international comical stylings of MY partner in crime for over 30 years, David Shipper:

China in Pictures
by
David Shipper

My Art House view from the gutter I woke up in after a night in Hong Kong.

I know, I know, less artsy, more fartsy, right? This, is the Chinese version of mudbugs. Great stuff. Think basil and chilies instead of crab boil.

Viewed through the lens of history, amidst the consumerism and the chaos, I found the true China in the love and respect between the generations. (actually, I paid this guy 10 yuan to hold hands with this orphan child. Okay, it was 5 yuan.)

Going through the three gorges. There goes that security clearance I was hoping for.

This Starbucks is within the walls of the “Forbidden City,” named so because it was forbidden to anyone that was not part of the Emperor’s court. Today it is forbidden to Dunkin Donuts.

Spreading Democracy two at a time in Tiananmen Square. Bring on the tanks.

The Chinese often engage in loud public arguments that inevitably draw a crowd. But like bad theater or bad sex, these “performances” rarely reach a satisfying climax. This one was different. After having sideswiped the other bus, the guy facing us is about to learn the meaning of the first Chinese word I ever learned: PAI YOWWW!

Fight, Fight!

One of the first Chinese Emperors had an army of 8,000 Terra Cotta Warriors made and buried with him when he died. They were meant to guard him in the afterlife. They are incredibly detailed – even down to the creases in the palms. Nothing funny here, move along.

Uhhh....

I’ve been to a lot of third world countries – Indonesia, Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, the Philippines – and have always had to deal with the ubiquitous hawker selling cheap goods or cheap women. None of them can hold a cheap lighter to China. They are everywhere, selling everything, and they do not give up easily.

Here’s the progression of my conversations with hawkers:

Hawker: Hallo, Hallo, you want fan? You want hat? You want map?
Me: Wo bu yao, xie xie ni. (I don’t want it, thank you)
Hawker: You want fan? Hat? Map?
Me: Wo bu yao, xie xie ni.

[repeat]

Second Day

Hawker: You want lighter? You want tour guide?
Me: BOO YAH!

Last week

Hawker: You want silk? You want water?
Me: No speaky English.

The pollution in China creates a smog blanket that traps in the heat and silts the lungs. For asthmatics is a horror – for nasal archeologists, a godsend. Everything is booger in China.

My ticket to fame on Alabamaasswhuppin. (an international sensation after 36 years. Thanks for the awesome tour, Dave! Leave him a comment, y'all!)

AAW's 6th and Final Anniversary

On August 22, 2005 AAW was born:

Alabama Ass Whuppin': First Post:

This will be all things political, ridiculous, Drive-by Truckerish, Crimson Tide footballable, and whatever the hell else I decide to do with it.

Over the next 6 years this blog produced 2,775 posts.

Today is the 2,776th and final post on AAW.

I'd written several detailed final posts but deleted them.

No more needs to be written other than 'Uncle'.

I am very grateful for the opportunities that have and continue to occur because of this blog.

Thank you all very, very much.

Goodbye.

J.

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Places to Visit

Eyes Above It - Facebook

Eyes Above It - Twitter

AAW Twitter

Drive-By Truckers

DBT - Facebook

DBT - Twitter

Wes Freed

Wes Freed Facebook

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DBT Week in Review - 8.19.11

DBT!

AAW's first DBT related post from 12/22/2005:

Alabama Ass Whuppin': DBT - Blessing and a Curse

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Here's the first DBT Week in Review posted March, 2006:

2006
Alabama Ass Whuppin': DBT Week in Review 3/12 - 3/18:

Hey All Y'all: This is something new I'll be posting on Friday's each week. Just a round up of all the DBT web related info I come across during the week. Hope you enjoy!

325 DBT posts in all. Today is the 213th DBT Week in Review post (and last).

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Cooley Bird Accoustic : http://yfrog.com/keiphbbj Shared by SHquadfather

Live Review: Drive-By Truckers and Centro-matic at Georgia Theatre, August 12 | Atlanta Music Guide

Southern Shelter � Drive-By Truckers @ Georgia Theatre 8/12/11

Southern Shelter � Centro-Matic @ Georgia Theatre 8/13/11

Southern Shelter � Centro-Matic @ Georgia Theatre 8/12/11

Features: The Drive-By Truckers' Two-Night Stand - Flagpole Magazine: Colorbearer of Athens, GA

A Sort of Homecoming: Let the Drive-By Truckers Proselytizing Commence

Ugly Buildings, Whores & Politicians – Greatest Hits 1998-2009 by Drive-By Truckers on Blurt Online

Grateful Web Interview w/ Drive-By Truckers artist Wes Freed - The Grateful Web | The Grateful Web

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Music

The Glands "I Can See My House From Here" 8/1/11 Georgia Theatre - YouTube

Vampire Weekend Contra Lawsuit: Ann Kirsten Kennis Dismisses Case Against Band

50 Greatest Guitar Riffs in Rock 'n' Roll - Spinner

Daily Kos: Want to Learn How to Organize? Start a Band!

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Improv

Ummmmm.....

AMERICAblog News: Is the Internet making us smarter?

OK, it makes up some-smarter.....

5 Ridiculous Secrets Only Two Living People Know: Part 2 | Cracked.com

OK, OK, it amazes us, too. Thank you internets.

Astronaut Photographs Perseid Meteor... From Space : Discovery News

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No, Alabama! Bad, Alabama. Stop it. STOP it.

Is There Anything Worse Than A Sorority Girl Rapping? | Tosh.0 Blog

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Want:

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Neoliberalism

Q: What's the difference between Reaganism, Neoconservatism and Neoliberalism?

A: Neoliberalism applies a drop of lube. Other than that the answer is 'Nothing'.

Obama is a Neoliberal

Daily Kos: UPDATED: What is Neoliberalism?:

"* Economy is a self-regulating entity that always balances out.
* Government is inefficient and costly.
* Private business is efficient and therefore the best way to solve our problems.
* Wealth trickles down from the wealthiest to the middle class and the poor because businesses create jobs that then puts more money into the economy leading, in turn, to more jobs."

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FDR's grandson:

Curtis Roosevelt: The Absent Commander-in-Chief: Who's in Charge Here?:

"President Obama seems to have forgotten that President Eisenhower warned us about 'the military/industrial complex' as long ago as 1960. Does the president not recognize the danger of appointing an Army general to head the CIA and appointing the former director of the CIA to become Secretary of Defense? Is Obama not tying himself ever more closely to the military-industrial complex? Is this naivete? Is it lack of experience? Neither is an appropriate excuse for a president who should be acting as commander-in-chief.

In essence, the president does not seem to be in charge. And that is a serious charge."

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Obviously.

Obama Not Obsessed With Keeping Job: Robert Gibbs (VIDEO)

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Eyes of All

Yup.

The Bad Deal | Common Dreams:

"The President is not a progressive – he is not what Americans still call a “liberal.” He is a willful player in an epic drama of faux-politics, an operative for the money power, whose job is to neutralize the left with fear and distraction and then to pivot rightward and deliver a conservative result.

What Barack Obama got from the debt deal was exactly what his sponsors have wanted: a long-term lock-in of domestic spending cuts, and a path toward severe cuts in the core New Deal and Great Society insurance programs – Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. And, of course, no tax increases at all."

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"And the President too is a young man. Unlike say Lyndon B. Johnson or Jimmy Carter, when his term ends he won't be able simply to go home. He'll need a big house in a gated suburb, with high walls and rich friends. And a good income, too, from book deals and lecture fees. He may be thinking about that now.

The good news is: it won't save him. For if and when he ventures out, for the rest of his life, the eyes of all those, whose hopes he once raised will follow him. The old, the poor, the jobless, the homeless: their eyes will follow him wherever he goes."

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Eschaton: Baffling:

"The continued systematic pursuit of obviously bad public policy is baffling. It's not like it's good politics. Does the Obama campaign staff really think they are gonna hold PA or OH with trade concessions to Korea? Do they think they will turn out voters in New Mexico on a deportation platform?

This isn't hard. Hire people to build things with the free money the world is offering us."

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Seriously, all the OA supporters and their hand-wringing over real liberals who aren't clapping loud enough is fucking annoying. No better than Bush supporters and just as blind.

Daily Kos: -- To the neoliberals on this site --:

"Why all the subterfuge? You won. Do progressives really need 'roping in'? Obama 2012, your campaign, has already put out its strategy. Obama is better than the Republicans, and you should prefer a list of Boy Scout achievements to Republican tea party garbage. And, hey, even if the Republicans win next year, you can run against them while enjoying the fruits of their neoliberal policies. And if you are a Democrat, you can blame the progressives for your defeat, which was the whole point of the game in the first place. So where's the victory celebration?"

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Cool.

Astronaut Photographs Perseid Meteor... From Space : Discovery News

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Alabama Slammer

Methinks this:

BART admits halting cell service to stop protesters

Will not go over very well in the Bay Area.

Hacker group threatens cyberwar against BART

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That Russell Brand fella is kinda sharp.

UK riots: Big Brother isn't watching you | UK news | The Guardian:

"These young people have no sense of community because they haven't been given one. They have no stake in society because Cameron's mentor Margaret Thatcher told us there's no such thing.

If we don't want our young people to tear apart our communities then don't let people in power tear apart the values that hold our communities together."

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Agreed.

Michael Moore: “Matt Damon for President!” | La Figa

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Oh, Alabama. You so crazy.

Pastor tased, mother stabbed during Alabama church brawl�|�Raw Replay

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DBT Week in Review - 8/12/11

Lauderdale

Shoal band Lauderdale released their 2nd record this week titled 'Moving On'. It is a mighty fine one that you should add to your collection. The song 'Grant Hotel' is one of the most rocking whore-house songs you'll every encounter.

Lauderdale back, 'Moving On' | TimesDaily.com | The Times Daily | Florence, AL

Lauderdale - Home

Lauderdale - The band

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DBT!

Two sold out shows at the newly reopened GA Theatre begins tonight!

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No Expiration - a blog about timeless music: THE GREATEST ALBUMS OF NO EXPIRATION'S LIFETIME:

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Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

No Time for Rest: Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit | The Corner News

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The Civil Wars

The Civil Wars: Daytrotter Session recorded Aug 9, 2011

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Original Muscle Shoals Sound

Evolution Of A Song: 'St. Louis Blues' : A Blog Supreme : NPR

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San Francisco Sound

One of my favorite things in the world:

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 11 - Fri Sep 30, Sat Oct 1, & Sun Oct 2, 2011

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Music

Local Man Arrested for Merchandise Tampering at Area Walmart | Country California

Johnny Cash's sideman Marshall Grant dies in Ark.

Former Warrant lead singer Jani Lane dies at 47 - Yahoo! News

Atheism-themed Concert Approved by Fort Bragg - News from The Associated Press

BBC - Newsbeat - Independent music labels left 'devastated' by riot fire

Beck Covers John Martyn's 'Stormbringer'

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